Life Has Never Been Good For Me Nor The Odds Is Ever In My Favor. I Have Been Stomped On Like Trash And Treated Like Shit. Everything Is Too Good To Be True Until One Night....
It's Now Been Almost Two Months Since I Got My Ass Beat And Smacked Out By E. Also I Have Schizprina But Its Not Bad If I Take All Of My Meds, Which I Do. I Haven't Really Been Emotionally Attached To Erica But I Do What She Wants With No Question. Even When I Don't Like It. If She's Happy, My Mother Is Happy. I Don't Talk To My Mom But I Do To My Sisters And Brothers. After Joel Died, We've Gotten Closer. Til This Day My Mom Scares Me And Flinch If Erica Puts Her Hand Toward My Face. My Favorite Place Is The Closet During My Free Time. I Feel That If I Keep My Silence, Take Care Of Our Children, Take My Meds On My Own, And Erica Isnt Pissed Me...Oh Yeah See A Shrink Two Times A Month And My Life Is Okay I Guess.
The Kids Are Hurt And So Am I. I Never Seen Them So Heartbroken. Tonight I Owe Joey, Selene, And Mari An Apology For Not Using My Head. Today We Are Launching Our Lines Together, And Doing Something Big. Shit Has Gotten Too Far.
" Cyn? Baby? Are You Hungry?" Erica Ask And Comes To Sit By Me
I Shook My Head No And Put My Laptop Down To Attend To Her Need. She Checked My Tablets To See If I Took My Medicine And Smile.
" I Am Sorry Cyn...I Shouldn't Have Put My Hands On You. Cyn I Miss Your Voice And Rather Have You Yell At Me Than This Silent Treat. Right Now That's All I Want" She Said And Grabs My Hand
I Faintly Smile And Get Up To Get Her Dress. Me Saying What's On My Mind Got Me Hurt And Beaten. Silence But Doing What I Supposed To Do Is The Last Result.
People Now Want Me To Speak....My Brother Is Dead And So Is My Daughters. Yes I Am Greiving In A Proper/in Proper Way But No One Is Getting Hurt. We Are In New York And Our Families Are Here But The Kids Doesn't Know We Are Here. All They Know Is That They Are Our Opening Act And The Ending. Our Family Is Our Models And They Don't Want Money. Manny Is Our Little Escort For The Girls. He Deserves A Spotlight After What's Been Going On.
" Peter Will Be Here For Your Make Up" Is All I Said To Her And Went Into The Livingroom.
I Saw Ma And Just Went Out into The Balcony Instead Of The Kitchen. Mom is Calling My Name But The Wind Just Has Me Zoned Out Until I Felt Her Touch Me And I Jumped From Her.
" Cyn Chill...Its Just Me Mami. You Can't Be Mad At Me Forever And I Did It To Hel-
I Zoned Her Out And Kissed Her On The Cheek Then Left. Deep Down I Am Hurt And Not Mad But At Myself. I Lock Myself Into My Room And Got Dressed For This Launching. Erica Forgot Its Our Anniversary But It's Okay. Its Been Tough And Shit Happens. Armenia Is Up Playing With Her Toy And Ready Go.
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I Can't Believe She Is Now Five Months And Looks Like Her Mommy. She's Our Little Thick Mama. Erica Breast Feeds Her And I Had To Stop Due To My Medicine. I Haven't Nursed Domo In Months And Somehow He Gets My Mom Breast Milk Through His Sippy Cup. She Got Tired Of Arguing With Him And Got Prescription For The Pills.
