[1] fangirl ;; lt

empat puluh tiga

                  

"I need to talk to you."

Deg, anjir. Baru aja beberapa menit setelah muka Liam bersih klimis dan kita offline dari twitcam, Louis udah narik lengan gue dan gue langsung kayak; lah anjing apaan sih narik-narik gue. Ah, tai.

Louis narik gue keluar dan masuk ke kamar yang waktu itu dia keluar, gue ngeliat pemandangan sekitar. Hehehe, itu ada bajunya Harry. Fak, berarti mereka emang tidur berdua. Shit men, ga ngerti lagi gue seneng banget oke deh.

Avril bego, ini bukan waktunya buat mikirin hal-hal yang berhubungan tentang Larry. Oke gue tau, sekarang Louis ada tepat di hadapan gue dan gue ga bisa ngomong apa-apa. Mulut gue terkatup rapat.

Dia ngapain bego bawa gue ke sini.

"What the hell?" mulai gue dan ngelepasin genggaman dia dari gue, anjing drama abis.

"Not like that," Louis ngangkat tangannya dan ngebentuk tanda kutip. "I just want to apologize."

Gue kaget. "I exactly don't know what are you saying."

"I'm saying sorry. Isn't that enough?" balas Louis lagi, dia ganteng banget omong-omong. Gila.

"Do you think it's enough for things that you've done to me?" gue nanya balik, suara gue sengit banget dan gue sadar akan hal itu. "You don't understand how am I feeling. Nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the person you thought would never hurt you."

Louis narik napasnya dan kembali megang tangan gue. Rasanya gue ada di fanfiction yang sering gue baca anjir di Wattpad, gue mati. Bye. "That's why I'm here. I want to say sorry for all the things that I have done to you."

"You know? I thought you were a very good person, I've never thought that you will treat me like this. You fucking almost kissed me without telling me it was fake, they told you to do that. I thought if I'd be here, in London, and meet all of you, my life is going to be completely perfect because the only thing I have ever wanted in my life was just to meet you guys. I expect that we would do some cool plans and post them on Instagram. I expect that we would have a lot of fun with your friends. I expect that I would be your best friend. I expect that you would – right, too many expects. And that's why I got a lot of disappointment."

"You talked like everything I have done to you is such very bad things when it's not," kata Louis, suaranya mulai tinggi. "You're overacting."

"Me what?" gue ketawa sinis. "Overacting? How's this, I fought with my mom and she didn't want to answer my call for a lot of times, the photo –"

"Right! The photos!" Louis nyela gue lagi. "I fucking have fucking paid fucking them, just so you know. If I didn't care about your life and wanted to ruin your whole life, then I could just kiss you that day and let the whole world see it. But what did I do? I paid them, I indemnify the management so those pictures won't be leaked. Did I do that to myself? Fuck, Avril. If I was a selfish person, then I will let them. I'll let them. I wouldn't pay much money to afford the pictures. I did that to you, why don't you understand and being so overated?"

"If they didn't ask you to date me, then I wouldn't be here. Right?" gue menyeka air mata gue yang mulai keluar deras dari mata gue. Tapi tetep aja, air mata itu tetep ngalir dan semakin ngebuat gue terlihat lemah.

"Stop saying that. In fact, you are already here," kata Louis lagi. "Harry has told you I couldn't do anything. We've been trying to look for a new girl but the management didn't agree with us. There was nothing I could do, really."