I stayed in bed for awhile after that. I didnt go to Dumbledore's Funeral. I was so sad. Noone could change the way i felt. Blaise tried but nothing worked.
Everyone was upset with the way i was acting i knew it but i felt that if i opened my mouth i couldnt keep myself from screaming.
Soon the year ended and i went back to Zabini Manor with Blaise, Tawny and Jo though i was far from recovered. I didnt stay in bed after that though i actually got out a bit since i didnt want to alarm anyone or bring too much attention to myself. The wounds sealed up and he bruises healed soon enough but i still felt sick all the time and i kept coughing up blood, i couldnt even keep anything down so i was getting skinnier by the day. At night i was kept up my Nightmares about what had happened so i got dark colored bags under my eyes. Everything was terrible. I drifted in and out of my mind not realizing things sometimes. It was as if i wasnt even in my body anymore! This was not the Jaya Annabelle Smith (Riddle) that Blaise had fallen in love with; that i loved; that everyone loved. No this was some other creature that was made by all that hatred my father seems to hold for me, the deception of a man i thought was not truly bad, the suffering that torture left. But Blaise still stood by my side, he didnt seem to care that i was becoming more distant and cold by the second, no, he was too good for that. Quite honestly i htink he was the only reason i got up in the morning or well got out of bed i should say, the only reason i bothered to eat the little i could, the only reason why i didnt just point my wand at myself and say "Avada Kadavra". I didnt want to be this way but i do want to be me again if just for 1 day to make Blaise happy for that short time. He never said it but i knew he felt it, he was mad at me that i was so cold and distant, no not at me at Lucius and Draco and my father. He was sad when he saw me so sad and afraid. I no longer was the same tough skinned Jaya everyone knew, id become a brittle frail little girl who could never be loved...
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Forbidden Choices
FanfictionMeet Jaya Smith or is that her true identity? Her whole life shes lived a life but what if all that life was false? What if what she thought had been had never been? Well what would you do? When she finds out what shes been living has been a lie wha...
