Forbidden Choices

Chapter 49

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I woke up in a cold sweat not exactly remembering the dream i had but it did include a dead Blaise calling out to me and other victims too. I decided that enough pretending was enough so i put on a vest over my old fashioned under the but length nightgown, a pair of skinny jeans under that and a pair of boots then i slipped my jacket on and disapparated on the the spot yet another perk of being feared at this school.

A red headed person opened up the door and i immediatly knew it was Fred. "I cant take it any longer" i said then i stuck my hands into his hair and kissed him deeply. Quickly he caught on from his sleepy haze and gripped my thighs then put them around his waist finally resting them on my behind. He led me backwards to his room and then opened the door then threw me onto the bed where i almost ripped my vest and jeans off then he took my boots off and we kept makign out. "This is not your bed" i said pushing him away "yeah it is what do you mean its not?" he trid to kiss me again but i pushed him back again "i know the beds ive slept in and this sure aint yours" i said "alright alright it isnt its George's on my room theres a chick that i got laid with earlier there" he said and we looked at each other for a moment then "alright" and kept kissing him. "Wait wait wait" he said and pushed me away "thats it? No 'how dare you?' Nadda?" he asked and i shrugged again "Pretty much". "Alright" he said after another shrug and kept makign out with me.

An Hour later we were laying in bed naked after having done well 'it' alot he was out of breathe, i wasnt. "Seriously! How did you learn taht move?" he asked and i smirked "see sleeping with Slytehrins has its virtues" i said leaning over him "im a little scared to shag someone else" he said "well you know what htey say once you go Snake you never come back" i smirked and leaned down to kiss him on the lips when i did he grabbed my legs and put them so i was straddling his chest and his hands rested on my thighs. We kissed for a few minutes but this kiss wasnt quite as rough or lust filled this one was well sweet i guess. He wasnt feeling me up and we werent fighting physically we were jsut kissing and it felt weird but at the same time it just felt... well... right! He seemed to realize this to because just then he pulled away and we sort of looked at each other just looked and then he said quite slowly "Jay i-i think... i think i Love you" he said and i pulled away from him "no you dont" i said "its pure infatuation nothing less, nothing more" i spoke slowly. "But Jaya what if it is?" he asked "what if it is more than what were pretending this is?" he asked "what are you talking about Fredward?" i asked sitting up. "I mean ive been doing research on this stuff thats ben going on between us" he said and grabbed a book from under the bed "and it says here that thats all stuff meaning the mood changes not acting like ourselves slip of the tongue and extreme violence and protectiveness are all symptoms of true Soul Mates" he said showing me but i ignored it. "No no thats thats not true my sould mate is Blaise it is and will always be Blaise thats the man i love" i said standing up "no Jaya" Fred said standing up aswell.

"I know i can feel it in my heart he-he may be dead but i still Love him and i cant love another person ever again! He was my Soul Mate! We were meant to be noone else is right for me. Not like Blaise was" i said and started to cry then i sat down on the floor. "Jaya baby listen to me" he said sitting down infront of me "It says here that theres a type of Phantom mate which it mimicks the feelings that are paired with Soul mate and some people they live thier entire lives stuck with their Phantom Mate not their Soul Mate their never truly happy. And you not being able to love anybody besides Blaise is that happiness? Is that what you want in your life?!" he asked me. "No! I dont want that but i made a promise. I made a commintment ot his family! THis locket!" i ripped it off my neck "means something! They accepted me as one of their family! look!" i said holding my chain's broken pieces and they formed together. "That doesnt happen for just anyone i made a promise to them" i sat on the floor and started to cry. "So your fufiling this 'promise' by wallowing in your own saddness;not living life?" he asked me "Well no not like that" i said "its just stupid! If hes dead then youve completely severed any ties you have with them by joining the Death Eaters and doing this to yourself" he said sitting down next to me then he picked me up and placed me on his lap wrapping a blanket around me. "I love you i do you shouldnt be wallowing like this and i know you love me back you just wont accept it" he whispered to me and i feigened sleep.