MONTGOMERY 3 : If Only

Chapter 23

Breath

"Let's go. Stop crying." Ani Uno.

"I can't believe this is happening." I breathed.

Napa hawak ako sa aking noo dahil sa pagsusubok na intindihin lahat ng 'to. Gusto ko mang isipin na hindi totoo ang mga 'to ay hindi ko magawa dahil ang simpleng paninikip lang ng dibdib ko ay patunay na totoo nga 'to.

"Accept it. Nandito na 'to. You did what you think was right. He's feeling something for you and you feel the same pero hanggang doon lang 'yon. We need to end this. The submarine I was driving needs to stop and I'll stop it because that is what I should do." Aniya.

Pumunta siya sa harap ko at mabilis na hinawakan ako sa balikat. He made me face him face to face. My tears were still flowing and I don't know how is that even possible.

His expression says it all. Seryoso siya sa lahat ng sinasabi niya at alam kong nahihirapan din siya. The all smile Uno is gone. Isang kuya ang nakikita ko ngayon habang tinitignan niya ako ng masinsinan.

He sighed. "Can you understand me, Tulip? I need you on this one. Hindi ko mapapakiusapan si Simon. Ikaw lang ang makakapagpatigil nito. Kilala mo siya, he's selfish.. like me."

Kahit mahirap ay tumango ako. Napayuko ako at hinayaang tumulo ang mga luha ko.

Bakit kailangan mangyari sa akin 'to?

"Uno, naiintindihan ko. I understand everything but damn. It hurts.. nasasaktan ako, Uno." Impit na hikbi kong wika.

Napahagulgol ako at napahawak sa puso ko.

I held it.. hinawakan ko ang sobra-sobra kong nanakit na puso. It hurts so much that I can't breath. Parang sumabog nalang ako bigla. The feelings that I was hiding for I don't know how long was revealed. Lumabas lahat, wala man lang natira para maayos pa 'to.

Alam kong hindi na 'to maaayos pa. The thing we have for each other can't be normal again because in the first place, it was never normal. Kahit kailan ay hindi ko naramdaman na magkapatid kami. Mahirap lang aminin pero 'yun ang totoo, I never felt it. I don't know what we have before but it's definitely not something for a siblings to have.

"I'm sorry, Tulip. Kuya is sorry.. I am so sorry. Hindi kita naprotektahan, but I promise that I'll do everything to stop this and make everything okay again. I'll help you fix this.."

Naramdaman ko ang paghila niya sa akin at ang marahan niyang pagyakap sa akin. Naisandal ko ang noo ko sa dibdib niya at doon humagulgol. He tapped my shoulder to comfort me but it made everything worst.

Natatakot ako, paano nalang kung malaman ni mommy at daddy 'to. I know mom will cry so much and I'll disappoint dad. I don't even want to think about it. It will be a torture for everybody.

"I always wanted you, Adrianna, Alice and Agatha to feel the extra ordinary kind of love but not like this.." bulong niya.

"Is that really you, Uno?" Hindi ko mapigilang tanong.

Lumayo ako sakanya at tinignan siya. Inabot niya ang aking mukha at pinunasan ang luha na dumadaloy sa aking pisngi. Kahit madilim ay naaaninag ko siya dahil sa malilikot na ilaw.

Banayad siyang ngumiti.

"I may joke a lot but I am always behind your backs. Ano pa nga ba ang magagawa ko? I'm Superman. I'm bound to protect everyone of you. Hindi ko lang kasing gwapo si Superman pero literal na ako siya kaya wala akong choice. I'll protect this family." Aniya.

Napangiwi ako sa sinabi niya. Nagpakawala siya ng halakhak kaya malungkot akong ngumiti. I smiled a bit and breathed slowly.

He's Superman..