Scratching the Surface (Poems)

I Don't Mind

You were always by my side

From kindergarten to now.

You held my hand

And let me follow you around.

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So when you asked to borrow my lunch

Who was I to disagree?

I don't mind.

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You said you'd never leave me

And you never did.

Sitting in the grass in 4th grade

Trading friendship bracelets.

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So when you asked to copy my homework

Who was I to disagree?

I don't mind.

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Middle school was harder

You and I had separate interests.

But you would always put your arm around me

And let everyone know that I was your friend.

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So when you asked me to cover for you

When you and your friends got in trouble

Who was I to disagree?

I don't mind.

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Highschool came

My grades began to fail

My mom didn't like that.

She called me a disgrace.

A failure

A mess

Even a mistake, when she was drunk enough.

(And these days, she's drunk a lot.)

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But you never really noticed

Never asked how I'd been.

Still, you have your own problems

So why should I bother you?

I don't mind.

---

Much.

---

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So where does that put us?

Tonight?

You're wasted

Lying on my bed

Hiding the deeds of last night from your parents

Taking refuge at my place

Again.

---

So where does that put us?

Right now?

When my mom's coming home

Any minute

To rant about her job

And blame me for her problems

Again.

---

So where does that leave us?

Tonight?

With my secrets so close to being revealed

And my pain reflected in my room

And you too drunk

Too out of it

Too distracted with your latest scheme

To notice

Again.

---

So where does that leave us?

Right now?

When I realize

That the thing that keeps me from jumping

Off the top of my apartment roof

Is knowing that you'd care

That you'd cry

That you'd miss me.

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But you wouldn't

Would you?

I don't mean anything

Do I?

---

---

No

No I don't.

But you know what?

---

As I take the steps

To my bedroom window

5 stories off the ground

I realize

I don't mind.