Emily's Escape

Chapter 5

I ran all the way home. It was a three-mile run and I was dying. When I finally reached the house I fell down on the grass in front of it. I almost couldn't breathe and my heart was pounding, almost dangerously. I felt sweat running down my face and for once, I actually felt warm. I continued to lie in the grass and soon I was falling asleep.

***

"Emily?" I opened my eyes at the voice. Did I fall asleep? I sat up and saw Susanne standing in front of me.

"Uhm yeah," I said as I stood up. I brushed the grass and dirt of me and collected my bag from the ground. Susanne was looking worried at me.

"Why were you sleeping on the ground in front of the house? And why are you already home? School isn't over. " The situation was almost comical.

"Uhm I didn't feel good, so I went home, and since I didn't have a key I sat down on the grass. I guess I must have fallen asleep," I lied. She looked at me and shook her head.

"Alright, well let's go inside," she said and sighed. She locked us in and I went to my room. I began my homework but I couldn't concentrate. Carter knew. That doctor guy knew. My teacher, apparently, also knew. Maddie knew. And nobody has helped me. I don't get why.

Stop lying to yourself.

You know why.

They think you're fat too.

They want to help you.

They want to make you skinny.

To make you beautiful.

Oh.

The voice was probably right. No, they were right. I am fat and people don't do anything about it because they want to help me to get skinny. To get beautiful.

A smile spread on my lips and I couldn't help but feel warm inside. The thought of me being skinny always made me happy. One day, I thought and closed my books. I wouldn't get anything done, so I could just do something else.

I decided on taking a bath. I got my towel and my basket of soaps and other shower necessities and walked to the bathroom.

I turned on the light and locked the door behind me. I turned on the water and quickly stripped out of my clothes.

One look won't hurt, I thought as I looked at myself in the mirror.

I gasped. Though I knew my bones were showing I continuously got surprised when I looked at myself in the mirror. Nearly all of my bones were showing and a thin layer of downy hair grew on my stomach, arms and legs. I didn't really understand why the hair was on my body since it hadn't always been there. It began growing about four months ago. At first, I shaved it off, but when it grew out again, I just let it be.

I shook my head and got in the now full tub. The hot water eased my tense muscles and I quickly relaxed. Even though the water was burning hot, it felt nice since I was permanently cold. I shiver went down my spine and ducked my head under the water. I felt so nice, so peaceful being under water. I couldn't hear anything and I would finally stop thinking.

When my lungs started burning I broke the surface of the water and sat up.

After lying in the water for another 20 minutes, the water started getting cold. I sighed and got up. Wrapping a towel around my body I drained the tub and gathered my stuff. I walked to my room and got dressed in a long sleeve and my sweatpants.

It was almost 4 o'clock and I knew the others would soon come home. This would be the time.

Some days Carol or Susanne would send up the children to give me food or dessert since I never would come down to eat it with the others. I took the bag of old food and went downstairs. Quickly eyeing if anybody was there, I sprinted out the door and to the trash outside. I opened the lid and threw the bag in.