Emily's Escape

Chapter 31

Song: Say you won't let go - by James Arthur

I really love this song and it suits this chapter well xx

***

1 month later

"You know I love you, right?" I nodded.

"I know. You know I love you too, right?" she nodded as well. She rolled closer and pecked my lips.

"We will be together forever, do you know that?" I nodded again.

"I do know that." This time I pecked her lips. I drew patterns on her bare shoulder as she lied on my chest.

"Carter?"

"Yes."

"Are you afraid of the future?"

"What?"

It was like time froze and she took a long break.

"Are you afraid of the future?" it was like her voice cracked.

"Are you-"

"Are you afraid?" her voice was muffled as if under water.

"What? No, I'm not afraid."

"I am." I furrowed my brows in confusion.

"Emily, what are you talking about?"

She turned over and looked me straight in the eye.

"I'm afraid."

She sat up and turned her back to me.

"I'm so afraid." I sat up too.

"Emily," I moved her head to me. I looked down at the red mess on the covers.

"Emily, what the fuck! What have you done?!" her wrist was slit and blood were pulsing out on the white covers.

She turned and looked at me with cold eyes.

"So afraid."

I woke with a jump. I sat up and turned on the light. I was alone.

It was just a dream. My bed was wet with sweat and stood up and went to the bathroom. I washed my face with cold water and tried to calm down. It had felt so real. Like she was with me. Like she had cut herself. But it was only a dream.

I sighed and went back to my bed. I needed to sleep. I lied down, but I couldn't sleep. I couldn't get the disturbing image of Emily with her wrist cut open out of my mind. It was hunting me. Every time I closed my eyes, she was there with her cold eyes and cut wrists.

I turned on the light and went to my gym. It was dark and cold. I turned on the light in there as well and put on my earphones. I blasted some kind of rap music and started to warm up. I noticed it was three in morning. I needed to sleep, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. I couldn't help but wonder how Emily was feeling. My nights often consisted of thinking about Emily. Actually, not often, always. I couldn't really sleep anymore. I haven't talked to her since she was hospitalized. I really need to, though. It would soon be thanksgiving and the doctors had told me that I could probably see her around that time. We had agreed to spend thanksgiving together. This just wasn't what I had imagined really, but I would be there for her. As much as I was there for her, she was for me. Though it would be easier to let her go on with her life and get better. I would never let her. I loved her to damn much. I could never leave.

***

I put the phone down and I finally exhaled. I could meet her. I could see her again. Finally.