Emily's Escape

Man to man (Chapter 53)

                 

I took a sip of my beer. "Do you really want to know?"

Tyler nodded while looking quite serious. He really had just genuinely asked me that question.

"Well, having a girlfriend is safe. It's this feeling of comfort, and you always know that the person will be there for you. You feel safe, I guess." Emily popped into my mind, not that she really ever left it, and I smiled.

"Does Emily really make you feel all of those emotions?"

"She does, and plenty more."

"Like what? What is she really like? It's hard to get a real idea of her personality since I never really speak with her. She's always with you." What was Emily really like? Words couldn't even explain.

I looked over the view, trying to come up with something that would do. It was beautiful. The sun was only just rising, and the whole city was bathed in fog.

"She's... Everything I could ever need. She's funny and very calming. She can be so incredibly sweet, but she will talk back when I'm acting cocky. She's the best person I can rely on, and I'm sure that she will always listen when I have something on my mind."

"Wow."

"She's also fucking sexy."

Tyler laughed.

I placed the beer can on the car we were leaning against. We had parked in a spot on the hill overlooking the entire city. A few cars had passed, but not enough for it to be annoying. It was too early for anyone to be here.

"She's pretty," Tyler stated.

"I know."

"It's too bad she doesn't see herself that way. If only she knew what you thought of her." I felt a little weird talking about her eating disorder with Tyler. Both Max and he knew I didn't like to talk about it.

"There's more to it," I chose to say. I wasn't going to talk about it. I would only get in a bad mood.

"Like what? It's okay if you don't want to talk about it, I just don't know anything about it." I sighed. Should I tell him?

"She feels guilty for her parent's deaths. She believed that hurting herself that way would make things a little better. The disorder then turned into something more superficial, but the accident was the start of it all." I had never imagined talking so much about it, but something was persuading me to do so.

"Could you imagine yourself with another girl?" I looked at him, and my eyes said it all. "I mean, I have met girls I liked more than others, but I couldn't imagine not getting with anyone else other than that girl."

"It's not all about the sex. Don't get me wrong, I know I could have good sex with plenty of girls, but I don't want to. I only want her. Because when we're together it's about more than just the sex, so I know I couldn't replace her with anyone." Tyler made a thinking sound.

"Don't you think you could find something similar with another girl?" I gently kicked a rock by my feet.

"Probably. I don't believe in 'the one', you know that, but Emily is just so different from anyone else. If I had to be realistic, yes, I could probably get the same thing with another girl. I don't know... It's so weird, on one hand, I know I could, but on the other, I'm convinced that I really couldn't."

"You're confusing."

I laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, I know that. It doesn't make sense to me either. She completely changed me. I was trying to be real smart with her when I first met Emily, but I just couldn't. From the second I saw her, my guards were down, and I would do anything to help her."

Tyler scoffed and then laughed. "You sound so whipped."

"I really am."

A moment passed where no one spoke. I admired the cliffs and plants on the hill. It was so stunning.

"Aren't you scared that something will happen?" Tyler asked me.

"What do you mean?" I didn't know whether he meant about her eating disorder or just in general.

"Just anything. She fucks up and cheats. She decides that you aren't the one she wants to spend all of her time with. I don't know, anything like that? I mean, when she means so much to you, it's easy for her to break you." I took in a large breath of air and then exhaled. I was about to embarrass myself.

"Honestly, I'm more afraid that I fuck up and hurt her than I am of her hurting me. I would rather live with the pain of being let down than I would want her to."

"You really love her that much?" Tyler asked and looked at me. I just kept looking over the city. Lights were beginning to turn on in a few houses and apartments.

"Yup. I couldn't live without her."

"You know how Max and I are, hell, you were like that yourself, but I would like to know what it felt like. To feel that way about someone."

"Yeah, I never knew I could feel like this. Love really does something to you." Tyler nodded.

"So what's next?" I looked at him. His nose was a little red from the cold.

"I don't know. We move to Pennsylvania in a few weeks, and then we live there together."

"Are you excited?"

I chuckled. "Excited? Well, it feels right. It doesn't feel like a crazy decision or anything. It just feels right."

"Have you ever thought about proposing?" I lifted my brows in shock.

Marriage.

"Nah. I mean I know that I'm going to, at some point, there's no doubt about it. I just don't think we should take that step right now."