Emily's Escape

Chapter 35

Song is Love on the brain by Rihanna (I absolutely love this song)

I only talked to Carter once more the next two days. We texted so I knew he was all right. Louis was still in a coma, but the doctors said nothing was impossible, which lightened Carter's mood tremendously. He was still really down, but I didn't think he would do anything stupid anymore. A feeling of which I was very appreciate of.

A knock was heard on my door, and I got up to open it. It was one of the many nurses here. This one was Jackie. She was one of the better once, but none of the nurses were 'curing' me. I know that wasn't their job, but seriously, we're in a rehabilitation center for an eating disorder and the board decided to hire a thin, pretty girl. It felt weird. I know it shouldn't be like this, but many of the girls, myself included, sometimes, were comparing us to her. 

Though, I was getting better to not compare myself. This was only because I knew I had to get better. It wasn't a question if I wanted to anymore, I had to now. I had to get out of here so I could be with Carter. Not only because he was dealing with unbearable stuff right now, but because I missed him so damn much. It was eating me up from the inside.

"Are you ready fro your group session?" Jackie asked. I nodded and stepped out of my small, depressing room.

"Who's leading today?" That's what they called the doctor present at the meetings. Why not call it a doctor?

"Uhm, I think it's Viviane today." I nodded at her response. Viviane was all right. She was a small lady with glasses. Regular size, so nobody felt like competing.

I sometimes wonder if the nurses here compare themselves with us. I mean we are really, really skinny girls. They must feel self-conscious sometimes. I for sure would've.

We walked to the session. They were all here. Linda: bulimic. Tiffany: anorexia. Karen: Orthorexia (she was running everywhere in the beginning. The nurses once had to physically hold her down from doing crunches) Jamie: anorexia (really anorexic) and then we had Jules, she was only 13 and she was so ill. She was also anorexic. I was so surprised when she said that she had been dealing with this for five years. I could hardly believe it.

"Hello, Emily," Viviane said. I smiled and said hello. I looked around at the girls. Besides for Linda, I was the heaviest here. Something I hadn't experienced in a really long time.

"Are we ready to begin?" Viviane asked. We all nodded. We weren't known to be the most enthusiastic bunch. When she saw our reaction she scooted in her seat, this was her thing to do before a session. "Emily, why don't you start? I know you asked to go home, why is that?"

I looked up at her. How did she know that? Well, they tell everyone everything here, so I should've known. "Well, my boyfriend has some problems right now, and I really want to go home to him right now. He needs my help dealing with the problems," I said and looked to the floor. It was always a little uncomfortable to talk at these things, but it was something I had to do.

"I didn't know you had a boyfriend," Tiffany said. She looked a little jealous. Tiffany was the girl I liked best from this group. "Well, I do. His name is Carter." She smiled at me.

"And you don't think you can help him from here?" Jules asked. She was innocent. She didn't know of real problems yet. Or well, besides eating problems. That, she knew enough of.

"Well, I can talk to him here, but it would help if I was with him," I said, trying not to sound mean. I don't know why they put us in the same group. I was 17 and she was 13, that was a huge age gap.

"Do you have a picture? I know we aren't supposed to get too personal on that front, Viviane, but I think it would really help us giving her advice!" Tiffany said. The first part directed to me, the next to Viviane. I looked at her trying to see if it was fine I showed a picture. She nodded slightly and I got out my phone.