The Prime Minister and Her

Deja Vu

The worst part about the doctors was waiting to be called in, according to Cassie. She didn't like waiting in general. She picked up magazines, flipped aimlessly through them, then tossed them down back on to the table. Carlton, the most impatient man in the world, had no problem waiting. She envied Dani, who was curled up in her daddy's trench coat against his chest, for not having to go through any of this and remember it.

"Wasn't my appointment scheduled for ten-thirty?" Cassie asked. Carlton looked at his watch and said, "It is. It's ten twenty-nine." He looked back down at Dani and smiled. He's always smiling nowadays and it's incredibly heartwarming.

Sure enough, once the clock hit ten-thirty, a nurse came out into the room and called her name. Cassie and Carlton stood up and followed her into the back. Cassie had to be weighed and had her blood pressure tested, the usual standards.

Once they got into a room, she sat down on the uncomfortable patient table with the annoying sanitary paper underneath her. Carlton handed Dani to her so she could keep occupied for the next few minutes. "This is the worst, isn't it?" She asked her daughter. She was greeted by a toothless grin, making her laugh and kiss Dani's head.

A few minutes later, Dr. Lowe walked into the room. "Hello, Carlton's," he greeted. He shook Carlton and Cassie's hands, then cooed a little at Dani. "So it says here that you haven't been feeling well?" He asked Cassie. "What's been the problem?"

Cassie told him it was the usual stomach ache and headache and that she thought it was just a cold or even the effects of the chemo. "That is possible," he told her. "Chemo takes a very large toll, as you've experienced, but I don't think it's a cold. You're showing symptoms, but not the kind we look for in a diagnosis. If you don't mind, I can do an ultrasound on your stomach and we can go from there."

Her and Carlton looked at each other. "Do it, darling," he told her, as he held Dani. "There can't be possibly something worse...right?" Dr. Lowe sighed and told him, "As much as I would love to tell you that you're right...I can't. There's always that possibility that something can be there, but I don't want you worrying about it."

After a moment, he stepped out of the room and had some nurses set up the ultrasound machine. He came back in once it was done, then moved the wand around the cold gel around her stomach. She was all too familiar with this routine.

Carlton nervously shook his leg and lightly bounced Dani, as he sat and watched the screen. "Well, I do see some fluid and swelling," he said. "Unfortunately, I do have theory at what this may be. If I am being completely honest...I wouldn't be surprised if the cancer has...moved down."

"Down?" Carlton quickly asked. "What do you mean down?" Dr. Lowe took a seat in front of him and Cassie. "I mean, she is showing symptoms of ovarian cancer. The fluid in the stomach, the swelling, and even the stomach ache and headaches."

Cassie quickly grabbed Carlton's free hand and squeezed it tight. "How can we be sure?" She asked. Dr. Lowe told her, "I would have to do a transvaginal ultrasound and a blood test. The tests won't come back for about a week, so if this is something you would like to be sure of and rule it out as a possibility, then I can go ahead and do both tests right now."

**

Cassie walked into the house with her shoulders slumped and her feet dragging. This couldn't be happening again. It can't be. Why her? Why does everything go so well, but then it just drags into the ground?

Carlton could obviously sense this and immediately led her to bed. "Get some rest and I'll take care of lunch and everything that needs to get done, alright?" He managed to convince her to get into some pjs, despite it being noon, and into bed.

He was about to go put Dani in her cot for a nap, but Cassie said, "Let me keep her here." Carlton gave her a soft smile, then brought Dani over to her. He put his pillows on the side so Dani wouldn't go rolling off, then put a blanket over his two girls once she was cuddled up to Cassie.

He placed a kiss on each of their heads, then walked downstairs. As soon as he entered the kitchen, he sat down at the table and started crying. He's been holding it back since Dr. Lowe told them it could be cancer again. He needed to be strong for Cassie, so he hasn't shown much emotion about it.

If he cried in front of her, she would think that there wasn't any hope, but that wasn't true. He just didn't want any of this to happen again. He almost lost her once and he can't go through that again. He doesn't think he has the strength to go through that again.

Trying to bring himself out of his thoughts, he got up from the table when he remembered he forgot Cassie's chemo treatment in the car. Dr. Lowe suggested they bring the liquid I.V. treatment home, so it doesn't cause anymore stress on her, should she have ovarian cancer.

He went out into the car and brought the big box that some nurses had packed for them. He opened it and read every instruction, so he knew what to do once she needed this. The schedule Dr. Lowe had set up said she needed the treatment in just over an hour.

So, he read everything, and then read it over for an hour. Once it was time for her to start, he brought the box upstairs. He set up the I.V. bag pole, put the tube in the bag, and then hooked in the I.V. needle. Once he hung the bag on the pole, he sighed triumphantly.

"Cass," he gently whispered, as he sat next to her and Dani on the bed. He carefully shook her and she woke up just a moment later. "Hey, you," he said. "It's time for your chemo. Did you want to do it here?"

Sighing, she nodded and carefully sat up without waking Dani. Carlton wasn't entirely sure what to do when it came to actually sticking the I.V. in her arm, but she's been through it so much, she knew exactly what to do.

Once she was all set up, Carlton adjusted her pillows so she could be more comfortable, then handed her the remote for the T.V. "Need anything, love?" He asked, as he ran his fingers through her hair. She shook her head and told him, "No. Not right now."

He nodded, then said, "Alright. Well, I'm going to go downstairs to make a few calls. If you need anything just shout, okay? Nothing is more important to me than you and your health. If Dani needs anything as well, let me take care of it. I don't want you moving around."

He stood up, then placed a kiss on her cheek, and then lightly placed one on Dani's. He started to walk out, but then stopped at the doorway and looked back at her. This can't happen again. He just prays those tests come back negative.