The Prime Minister and Her

Can't Do This

I never thought I could love somebody like I love her. I never thought I would be with somebody who loves me like she does. The moment I saw her, I knew I had to have her in any way possible. Sure, I never liked her at first, but then I realized just how much I really loved her and that love would never go away, not until I had her. We have everything together. We have our daughter, our love, our family...so why is this happening?

Carlton shifted himself as he stood with his arms folded, leaning against the doorway and tears threatening to spill over at the sight of Cassie. I told her nothing worse could happen. I told her everything was going to be fine. I can't believe those bloody tests came back positive.

They had just gotten the call from Dr. Lowe. She has ovarian cancer. When she goes in for chemo tomorrow, they need to discuss options, like if she'll have surgery or not, or if she'll continue with the chemo. 

She also has to go through more tests, which could take hours. Carlton refused to leave her to go through that alone, so Johnny will be coming over to watch over Dani.

With a heavy heart and a sad sigh, Carlton walked over to the bed, where Cassie was laying and crying, and sat down. He put his hand on her back and started to gently run it up and down. He moved his hand to her hip, where she reached over and held it. 

She's been taking this news horribly. The moment she found out, she came into the room and cried. She hasn't stopped since. Anyone would be reacting the way she is. Carlton just wants to crawl in bed with her and cry as much as he possibly can, but he can't because he has to be strong for her.

"Do you need anything?" He softly asked. She shook her head, but gripped his hand tighter and gently pulled him to her. He got himself positioned behind her and spooned her tightly against his chest. He kissed her shoulder, then put his face in her neck. 

It was silent for a while, with the occasional sniffle and quiet sob coming from her, but much to Carlton's surprise, she broke the silence. "I don't want to die," she cried. He shut his eyes tightly together and told her, "You won't. You won't."

"I want to see Dani grow up," she said in a hoarse voice. "I want to see her go to school and I want to pick her up and ask her how her day was. I want to guide her through becoming a woman, I want to see her go to prom...I want to see her get married. Have kids of her own. I want that, Ben." 

God, he hated when she said his name. "You will see all of that, baby, I promise," he said. "You're going to watch our little girl grow up and you are going to live until you're a hundred bloody years old because I will make damn sure of that. You hear me? You are not leaving us." 

She slowly turned over in his arms until she was facing him, then hugged him closely around his waist. He rubbed her back and kissed her head. "You're crazy if you think I am going to let this thing beat you," he whispered into her hair. 

**

The next day was a long one. They had to wake up at six in the morning to get ready, then left to the hospital as soon as Johnny came over. The moment they got to the hospital, Carlton knew this was not going to be an easy day. 

To start off, they waited for two hours until they were called back into a room. They had to wait another hour, until a doctor came in and took them into another room. It was there that they were told she had to go into radiation therapy. 

As she was getting dressed in the hospital gown, she had to make a quick few trips into the bathroom to throw up. Her hair didn't need any holding back, as it was already so short from the chemo, but Carlton was in there anyways to give her moral support.