Be mine - A Teenlock/Johnlock

23. I can't

Sorry for the delay! I started with my vacation work this week. I was tired everytime I came home;

Also; Someone was being completely rude to me this morning because I haven't updated for five days. I hadn't the time to explain the situation to her because she deleted it. I just want you to know that I'm doing my best. I mostly update every two/three days and when I'm in a happy mood you receive two in two days. It was really disappointing to see a comment like this after all the work I put into this story. :/
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Ten minutes after the fountain accident both boys reluctantly went back to their houses. John and Sherlock said their goodbyes and so they separated their ways. Sherlock sighed as he looked at the Watsons their car, driving away. Sherlock rubbed his arm, walking inside the house. He planned to have a look at his new hammock, trying to make it, which would be a hopeless case. But when he entered the back garden his eyes widened as he saw his new hammock ready on the place from his previous one. He frowned, looking back inside to find anyone so he could ask about it. He heard Mrs Hudson singing softly so he followed the sound, finding her folding clothes.

"Mrs Hudson." Sherlock started, approaching her, his hands folded across his back.

"Yes dear?" She replied, looking over her shoulder briefly.

"My hammock. Who di-"

"Oh yes, your mother did that." She said, cutting off his sentence, placing a pile clothes into a laundry basket.

"That's new." He muttered with a frown.

"I know dear, what a week." She said lovely with a giggle, and walked away with the basket in her hands.

The rest of the day, nothing special happened. Sherlock sent John a couple text messages during the day and he also solved another small case. Something about a bunch of dead sheep. After he solved it he went to read a book in his new hammock. He couldn't wait to share it with John. After reading three chapters while eating a sandwich, he then jumped under his sheets, falling asleep while smiling like an idiot like usual.

The next day Sherlock did his morning ritual, ready for another day of school, seeing John again.

"Have fun today." Mrs Hudson said lovely, handing Sherlock his rucksack. Sherlock smiled down at her, taking his bag in his hand.

"Thank you." He replied. She took him in a brief hug, still extremely happy about Sherlock finding the one. (She was hundred percent certain that John was the one for him.) She then trotted away. Sherlock rolled his eyes while smiling widely. That woman, he though. He shrugged on his coat, leaving his deep blue scarf hanging lonely at the coatrack. He opened the fancy white door, his head jerking to the left side, scanning the street to see if John was already out.

"Morning princess." Sherlock heard someone say, coming from the other side. A big genuine smile appeared on Sherlock's lips as he recognized the voice. He looked at John who was now pushing himself upright, obviously he had been waiting on Sherlock.

"Good morning." Sherlock replied, walking down the path from the front garden, outstretching his arm a bit, inviting John to take his hand, which he of course grabbed. "How was the barbeque?" Sherlock asked, hoping on a good morning kiss from the smaller man beside him. He somehow was anxious to take the step. It was still all new to him.

"It was tedious." John growled.

"How come?" Sherlock asked with a soft laugh.

"The only person I knew was my mom. And she was too busy trying to impress her colleagues. So I just sat there the whole time for more than six bloody hours." He grunted.

"Poor thing." Sherlock chuckled, squeezing his hand. John nodded furiously, pouting like a child intentionally.

"But before my phone died, I had some handsome man to keep me busy." John informed with a teasing tone.

"Who is that man?" Sherlock yelled, acting like he was offended.

"I don't know. But he's amazing, pure perfection." John said his voice soft.

"Well." Sherlock paused, clearing his throat. "You should never leave him then." He said, looking away shyly.

"Never." John said, looking at the side of Sherlock's face with sparkling eyes, noticing the blush creeping over Sherlock's cheeks. "Come 'ere." John said, pulling Sherlock closer to him, and stood on his tip toes, reaching Sherlock's cuppid bow lips. "Hmm strawberry jam." John mumbled onto Sherlock's lips. Sherlock chuckled, pulling away a bit, their noses touching. "Did I tell you already, how amazing you are." John said dreamily, capturing the young detective his lips again.

"Yes, but you can tell me again." Sherlock managed to say, during the attack of John's lips. Watson pulled back, smiling.

"You're amazing, in fact the best." John pointed out, a blush blooming over his face. Sherlock smiled widely, not knowing how to reply on that. He bent down again, pecking John's lips before they walked forwards again.

They approached the bus stop, their hands still entwined. After a couple minutes waiting, John could feel that something was bothering Sherlock. John knew that it had something to do with the bullies, 'revealing' their relationship to others.

"It will be fine Sherlock." John assured, squeezing his hand. Sherlock nodded stiffly, the consequences of their relationship flashing in his mind. Of course for Sherlock nothing much would change. But he worried for John. Even though John said it would be fine. It wouldn't. Sherlock didn't tell John everything yet. He then sighed inwardly, turning his head, staring deeply into John's eyes.

"You sure about it?" He asked quietly.

"Yes." John reply with a slight frown, not understanding why Sherlock was acting this way. Yesterday he was fine with it. Sherlock nodded with a half-smile and looked away.
After a minute silence, Sherlock saw the bus wheeling the corner, and dropped John's hand immediately. "Sherlock?" John asked. The young detective swallowed, his head turning more to the other side so John couldn't see his face. "Sherlock it-"

"John." Sherlock whispered, interjecting John as he looked down at the uninterested floor. John sighed. The bus pulled up in front of them. John clenched his teeth as Sherlock stepped inside without saying anything nor looking at him.

"I think I can't do this." Sherlock said, his voice croaking. He continued to walk inside, like usual greeted with people calling him words such as freak and fag.

"Hey Mr Freaky, it's been a while don't ya think." Sally yelled with a mean smirk on her face. Sherlock sat down, completely ignoring what people were saying to him. He leaned his head against the window. John anxiously sat down. He placed a hand on Sherlock's arm, leaning closer.

"Sherlock what's going on?" John asked quietly.

"I'm scared." He mumbled, still looking outside.

"Of what?" John asked. Sherlock swallowed, finally meeting John's eyes which were filled with concern. John frowned as he noticed Sherlock's eyes watering.

"Losing you." He said feebly.

"God Sherlock, I'll never leave you. You are stuck with me for the rest of your life." John said softly, trying to reassure the younger man beside him. Sherlock briefly smiled at that before his expression changed blank again.

"It's not that."

"Then what is it?" John asked.

"I never told you how Redbeard died." He muttered and took a deep breath. "It all started with a kid named Jim."