Falling For the Angels // Destiel & Samifer

Chapter Seventy Two

~Lucifer~

Sam sighed against my lips breathlessly, tugging fiercely at the collar of my shirt to pull me back towards him.

"Sam", I murmured against his mouth.

Sam ignored me and continued to kiss me roughly. He grabbed my arms and spun me around so that he was the one pushing me against the wall.

"Sam", I repeated in between kisses, fighting the urge to give in.

Sam moaned slightly and held the back of my head firmly as he kissed me deeper. After a few more seconds of allowance, I pushed him away and immediately missed the feel of his lips against mine.

"Sam", I sighed, smirking at his sudden eagerness.

"What?" Sam pouted, his puppy eyes melting my heart...that is, if I had one.

"Before this gets more intimate, we need to talk", I informed him, trying to appear confident.

"About what?" Sam asked innocently.

"What do you think?" I asked sarcastically, "This. Us. Whatever you wanna call it".

"Oh", Sam looked down at the ground, releasing his grip on me and taking a hesitant step back.

"You know, it's strange", I started, leaning back against the stone cold wall and watching him with interest, "Sometimes I am certain that you hate me. But then something like this happens and..."

My voice trailed off and I gave him a slight pleading look, desperate for him to say something.

"I don't hate you", Sam said in a quiet, light voice before meeting my eyes, "I didn't mean what I said earlier about you screwing up my life. You know that right?"

"Well, now I do", I gave him a lighthearted smile, "So, you don't hate me. That's a start. Do you...like me?"

Sam shifted uncomfortably and he looked at the ground shyly before he worked up the courage to glance at me again.

"I don't kiss people that I don't like", Sam explained with a gleam in his eyes, "Unless it's a crossroads demon deal. They're the worst. I really hope Crowley never offers a-"

"Sam", I stopped him from mumbling stressfully, "You're nervous".

"What?"

"You always mutter about crap when you're nervous", I reminded him, "Just relax, okay? We're just talking".

"Look, why do we have to have this conversation?" Sam snapped, looking irritated, "Why can't we just...live in the moment? We don't have to talk about our feelings, okay? It's just tedious".

"Fine", I shrugged, avoiding his gaze, "If that's how you feel, then we just won't talk about it".

Sam nodded unsurely, watching my expression carefully. I could tell that he was trying to decipher whether I was annoyed or not. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked away again. Sam sighed frustratedly when I refused to look him in the eyes.

"Alright, you wanna know what I'm feeling?" Sam said the last word mockingly, "I-I don't know! That's what's so damn confusing; the fact that I just don't know".

"What do you mean?"

"Everything feels imaginary", Sam continued and all the next words came out in a rushed panic, "I mean, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. You're the guy that tortured my soul in Hell and tricked me into becoming your vessel. Yet here I am, kissing you and liking you and...and thinking about you every second of every day and wanting you to use your stupid teleportation habit to take us away from everything else so we can be alone and together. But then my sanity comes back and screams at me to stop what I'm doing so I intend on cutting you out of my life but it never works because I just get so lost and dazed when I'm with you. So, you want to know my feelings? I don't know. I don't freaking know, okay? I'm just so confused, Lucifer".

Taken aback by everything he just said, I stared up into his eyes for a few long seconds and Sam watched me, nervously awaiting my reaction.

Tentatively, I grasped his smooth hands and gently pulled them towards me so that Sam's face got closer to mine. I leant forward slightly and pressed my lips against Sam's, savouring that exact moment and never wanting to pull away. I held the back of his head when I leant back and pressed my forehead against his, inhaling shakily.

"I know, Sam", I reassured him softly, "I know".