The luckiest unlucky girl.

Chapter 3

Shazrays' POV

"Shazray, I do not want you to do stupid stuff this time!" mum says. "What do you mean mama?" I say. "You know very well what I am talking about!" she says. "No mum. Please tell?" I say. "He's coming. And I don't want you to act stupid. And I'm warning you if I get to see you near him you know better what I will do!" she says. "No mama. I won't do anything. And you won't see me around him!" I say.

*quick throwback*
The maid in her house was her age almost. Shazray and the maid became good friends. Maid asked her if she loved someone. Shazray was a kid and was ashamed to admit her love. But the maid forced her to tell. Shazray denied. Maid promised that she won't tell anyone. Shazray then told about her love. Maid was a cunning girl. Whereas Shazray was an innocent stupid. Maid kept her secret for almost 3 months and started blackmailing her. The maid herself was a characterless girl. In the house where she lived before as a maid, was a boy. The owners' son. He started flirting with maid. Maid got captured and felt in love with him. The boy raped the maid. But maid had no idea about it. Obviously she was not educated so how could she have any idea about virginity. The maid lost her virginity to the boy. And the boy used to rape her every time his parents were out. He got so addicted of this, that he started doing this at nights when everyone else was asleep. The maid was head to toe in him. But her mother took her away from the house. Then the maid came in Shazrays' house. She told Shazray each and everything. Shazray was educated and thought that maid was not a good girl. But she couldn't do anything. Maid had her biggest secret. After 3 months of their friendship, maid blackmailed her. She didn't wish for anything. But she always said that she will tell everyone about this secret anytime! One day, Shazray was alone in her room with lights off. Maid came in with a glass of milk, like other days. Shazray did not want to get close to her after she got to know about the rape scene. Maid said that she's going to tell everyone about the secret this night. Current passed through her whole body. Shazray got up and yelled at her in low voice. "Are you crazy?!" she said. Maid said that she will tell everyone everything tonight. Shazray couldn't tolerate this anymore and she slapped her in the face. "I AM GOING TO TELL EVERYONE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW!!" maid said in anger. "Go away!!" Shazray said. But before maid could leave the room and tell everyone about the scene, Shazray herself went down and told her mother. She said that maid is always blackmailing her. Shazray was terrified. Her mum asked why? Shazray said that maid once asked her if she loved someone. Her mum in full anger now. "Then what did you say?!" her mum said. Shazray couldn't speak a word. "Mama I said maybe Adil likes my hair" she said. Her mum asked her to leave the hall. Terrified Shazray left the hall and entered her room. After sometime she tried to sleep but couldn't. Her heart was racing so fast. She sat in stairs. She could hear the voices clearly. She eavesdropped.
Maid: She's been watching dirty movies whenever she got time. She loves Adil so much. They've been doing dirty stuff together. I can't even tell you! Whenever he came to stay for a night, they would stay up whole night. And you better know what happens next.
Mum: No I don't know tell me everything.
Maid: Madam, he always went inside her room. You don't know anything. She's been taking advantage of the guest room being in the second story of house. He would stay in her room whole night!
Shazray sat silent in the stairs. She had been cheated on. Her tear stained face couldn't find any place to hide. She couldn't bear these dirty blames on herself. She was a pious girl. She never ever talked to any boy. And in the case of Adil, she couldn't speak a word. It had been 4 years since they talked. Adil would always ignore her. Everything maid told to her mother was wrong. It wasn't Shazray to do that dirty stuff but it was herself. Shazrays' mother called her. She asked Shazray about each and everything. Shazray stood silent. "I'm asking something!" mum said. "Mama she's been lying" she said. Shazray was told off. Her mother asked if she had any secrets of maid. But Shazray denied. She didn't want to break the promise. She left the hall. Mother called maids' parents and asked them to take her away. Maid left the house. From this time, Shazray never dared to come in front of Adil. Sit around him or even see his face. Shazray was heart broken. She had been cheated on badly. But she asked Allah for help. She never tried to talk on this topic with anyone. But her mother was an intelligent woman. She didn't believe on the dirty scenes maid told her. Shazray was her daughter and she knew what kind of girl she was. But in the case of being in love with Adil, her mother got alert. She decided to never let them both talk, have company, or stay alone.
These things broke her heart. She was a little girl. The little broken girl. The little silent lover!
*throwback ends*

I enter my room with the broken heart. I mean I can't do anything which will erase that fucking incident from my life. How could I be so stupid to trust her! I stand in front of my mirror. Begging myself to not cry. I've made myself stronger. Stronger than ever before. I step towards washroom. Each little detail was printed on my mind. I can never forget the rude behaviour of mama. Every time she saw me around him, she would yell at me. I still remember my cousins' wedding. Mama yelled at me in front of his mother. It was when Alishba said that she wants to go to washroom in the hall. And I asked her to wait for a minute. I didn't know he was standing behind me. And Alishba called mama. Mama came and asked what the matter was. And she told her. Mama said,"You're doing this because we will leave Lahore at late night? You know what, you can stay here forever!" I was so shocked. I couldn't say a word.
At one time my life is so happy, right on the other moment my life is mess. I don't know what to do. I do have the blessed moments and I do have the ugliest dark side. I do feel best and I do regret things. Loving him was not my fault but sharing this secret with that fucking maid was my biggest mistake!
I take shower. And come out of washroom. Today I was going to wear a normal royal blue dress. My hair were long enough. I love my hair. And my eyes, omg I have the beautiful eyes ever! I love my eyes.
I could hear their voices. I decided to go down and meet them all. I was on stairs. My heart was beating so fast. I could see his head. He was wearing kind of red shirt. But I couldn't see him clearly. I put the fake smile on my face and move downstairs. I say salam in loud voice. And everyone replied. "Haven't you got food?" uncle said and I smiled. "I've been. And I think I've gained weight" I say. "No. You look weak" he says. I could feel Adil looking at me. "Haha no" I say as I sit. He's constantly looking at me and I am looking on the floor. I didn't want to see his face. Because if I did, mum would tell me off. And that would be unbearable.
Ignorance Ignorance Ignorance. That's how I was going to waste my whole weekend. I come in my room. I was thinking about studies. His mother was being so proud of him because of his good grades. It was funny. In O2 I got grades better than him. And in O3 he got grades way more awesome than mine. I did work hard but I think it wasn't enough. I take my Biology book out and start studying. No one was going to ask where I am. No one was going to care enough.
Buzzz buzzz buzzzzz
I look on the phone. It was Milli.
-Asslamo alaikum
-Walaikum Aslam how're you Shazray? *happily*
-I'm good. How are you? *feeling down*
-What happened?
-Nothing Milli. I was studying.
-I know something is wrong Shazray.
-No *cracked voice*
-Tell me what happened? Shazray come on I am your bestie?!
-Nothing happened. Bye I am going to study.
-Hey wait Shazray. I wanted to tell that you've failed the test. But don't worry. I did too.
-What?! *shocked*
-Hey it's ok Shazray?
-Bye Milli talk to you later...!
I turn my phone off. It wasn't about failing the test. It was all about the hard work I did. I put everything on my side table. Turn off the lamp and lay in the bed. I am too dumb to do anything. I don't know why whenever I try to fix things I end up losing everything. Life is so fucked up. I know it's not always about sorrows and the sad moments or the regrets. I do have a happy life. I do get some time to enjoy. And I am sure nobody is as blessed as I am. But there are some points in my life which I want to get rid off. I want to unmeet some people. I know there's no link between trusting the maid and Adil. But my life is so fucked up because of these two things. I do not say that loving him was wrong but trusting that maid was my biggest mistake.
Darkness. I felt numb. The cried eyes were too tired that sleep overtook them.