Hallelujah

chapter eighteen

It was Sunday night and I was sitting an uncomfortable silence at the table with my mother and sister.

"So how was your day girls?" my mother asked.

"All we did was go to church, we didn't even do anything else," I said bluntly. My mother dropped her fork and looked at me.

"What was that Alexandria?" she asked seriously.

"I said that all we did was go to church. We didn't do anything other than that so why would you ask how our day was if you were there the entire time. It doesn't make any sense," I mumbled.

"Was church not fun today?" she asked. She was pushing me and I really didn't want to crack.

"It was really good. I loved the message today, it was really relevant I think to everyday life as a teenager in high school," I said which made her lighten up.

She continued talking to Katie and I sat there pushing my peas around with my fork. After we all finished we were cleaning up and I set my phone down on the counter. I was washing the dishes when I heard my phone ding. I mentally started slapping myself for not putting it on silent.

"Who's Brendon?" Katie said loudly. I froze and my mother turned around at the name.

"Brendon?" she repeated after Katie. She glared at me and my face went pale.

"Yeah, he's a kid in my art class. I'm partner with him for an abstract painting," I said.

"What's his name?" she asked.

"It's Brendon, didn't we already establish that?" I laughed.

"Last name," she said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, I don't know. I'm not friends with him or anything we just got assigned as partners," I lied.

"You better not be lying Alexandria," she said turning away. I grabbed my phone and ran up to my room slamming the door behind me.

I looked through the texts I had gotten from Brendon.

Brendon: So Alex I mean Alexandria, I think we should hang out again sometime I mean I sure as hell had fun the first time.

Me: I'll call you tonight Brendon

I rolled my eyes at him and tossed my phone on my bed. I changed into a pair of joggers and a sweater and tied my hair up. I turned around and found Katie standing in my door way.

"Why did you lie to mom?" she said quietly.

"I didn't lie," I said. Technically I wasn't lying. I mean Brendon was in my art class and we weren't exactly paired as partners but I was drawing him so I mean I was telling part of the truth.

"Yes you did," she said sitting on my bed.

"Why is it important to you if I lie to mom or not?" I asked.

"Because it's bad to lie, you shouldn't do it, mom doesn't like it and God doesn't like it," she said.

"Katie can I tell you something?" She nodded excited and I sat down next to her as I closed my bedroom door.

"I don't want you to live your life afraid to make mistakes. Do not be afraid to do what you're thinking. Do what you want when you want it and don't think twice about it. You need to be you, don't let anyone define who you are for you because only you know who you are. Only you can make decisions for yourself not mom, not me, not God, just you," I said.

"I don't know what that means," she said quietly.

"Of course not, you're just a 12 year old with your whole future in front of you. I'm just warning you, do what you love. Do what you love when you love it. Don't wait for something just because it seems wrong. You are going to be such a cool person when you grow up, I can't wait to see how you turn out. Just remember this conversation every time you face a problem. Don't think, do."

"Okay, I think I get it," she said hopping off my bed, "but you did lie to mom and lying is wrong." I laughed and pushed her out of my room and laid back on my bed.

I closed my eyes for a few minutes and let myself fall into a light sleep.