Hallelujah

chapter forty

"Alex?" I heard a voice say from behind me. My body went stiff and I suddenly couldn't move. It was like everything just shut down. I heard footsteps walking closer and eventually I pulled myself to be able to turn around and there I stood.

I stood face to face with the boy I had been looking for.

"What are you doing here?" Brendon asked looking at me his face full of confusion.

"I-" I felt a lump form in my throat and I couldn't get my words out without crying. "I needed somewhere to get away."

"You were looking for me," he stated. I nodded and he looked at me like he had never even seen me before. "Why?" he asked. "Why would you come looking for me? I hurt you so bad, I don't deserve you and you know that. I fucked this up so bad and you deserve something so much better."

"That's not true. I was really worried about you, we all were," I said.

"Alex, you're allowed to hate me. It will eat me alive to know it but you're allowed to hate me."

"I don't hate you. I can't hate you," I said with tears still sliding down my face.

"Why not? If anyone in the world deserves to be hated it's me and I guarantee anyone from New York to LA would agree."

"Brendon stop it. I'm not angry, I don't hate you and I don't not care about you. The only thing I felt was hurt, I just thought everything was perfect but I expect too much all the time and it always bites me in the butt in the end," I said trying to laugh the pain away.

"Alex-" I cut him off.

"Stop," I demanded. "I don't want to hear about how sorry you are or how much you hate yourself."

"I wasn't going to say that," he said quietly. "I was going to tell you that I think you look beautiful right now even though you've been crying." I was taken back by his words and blinked away a few more tears.

"I'm a mess, everyone's back at the hotel and I needed to get away from all the excitement. I didn't know where else to go so I came here. It's the only place I know in Vegas," I laughed.

"Why were you crying?" he asked as he lifted his hands to my face and wiped away tears. His hands didn't leave my face when he was done though. He left his hands cupping my face forcing my eyes to meet his.

"Your hands are really cold," I whispered.

"Your face is really warm," he said back giving me a warm smile.

I felt myself slowly melting for him and I was trying my hardest not to give into him. I fell for Brendon Urie once in front of the city of Vegas and I couldn't believe I was falling for him again, in the exact same spot.

"Alexandria White you are the single most important thing that has ever happened to me and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you."

"Brendon Urie, you've been a pain in my ass ever since we met but you made me start living for once and I could never thank you enough for that," I said looking into those stupid chocolate eyes I loved.

We stood quietly together with just the sounds of our uneven breathing being the only noise. He slowly leaned down to my face and pressed his lips onto mine. Shit, I thought to myself. I missed this so much. I wrapped my arms tightly around his next and pulled him a little closer.

He pulled away and rested his forehead on mine with his eyes squeezed shut. I felt a small drop of water hit my face and at first I thought Brendon was crying but soon more drops of water were surrounding us and we realized it was down pouring rain. I laughed quietly at how cheesy this probably looked and I leaned in to kiss him one more time.

He opened his mouth slightly and whispered something I never thought I would ever hear from the lips of Brendon Urie.

"I love you Alexandria White."