Hallelujah

chapter forty-five

"Spring break bitch!" Hannah screamed running towards me and almost right into the lockers next to mine.

Five months later. Life was a lot better now. Not much had changed in our friend group; we had all the same friends. Our lives had changed a little though: Hannah and Dallon were officially dating now, and they're in love as well. Brendon and I were friends still and it was slowly becoming less awkward with him. I had allowed myself to get over him about two months ago. I just realized one day that it wasn't worth it to keep myself from living just because I wasn't dating Brendon. I feel like he is finally in the same place as me now too which is amazing. We have a great friendship. I was super glad that the whole friend thing worked out because we were closer than ever. Pete and Patrick had introduced us to two of their close friends who we had never really met since they were from Summerville North and we were Summerville South. The four of them have started talking about possibly forming a band but they haven't made anything official yet. Ryan got a girlfriend; we don't see much of her though. Sometimes we tease him that she isn't real but he insists she is just really shy.

Hannah and I moved into an apartment together. It wasn't anything special since we spent most our time at Ryan's anyways but it was something. I hadn't spoken to my mother at all. It made me a little sad that she didn't call to check up on me at all but I was holding myself together pretty well. I had however picked up Katie and taken her out a couple times. She wasn't much different but she told me every time how much she missed me and I reassured her every time I missed her just as much.

It was spring break now and all seven of us were heading to LA. Ryan's parents had a beach house out there and we were lucky enough to convince them to let us use it for a couple days.

"Aren't you excited?" Hannah asked as we walked out to her car. We would have left straight from school but of course Hannah hadn't finished packing yet so we had to wait for her.

"I honestly cannot wait to spend time at the beach," I said smiling.

"You burn so easy Alex," she laughed.

"Shut up," I said.

It only took her an hour to finish and by 5' o clock we were getting into Patrick's Minivan. Yes, he still drove a Minivan.

"Can we please listen to Kanye?" Pete begged.

"No!" we all said in unison.

"Y'all are no fun," he said pouting. Brendon rolled his eyes and plugged his phone into the aux cord. Immediately we all sang along to the new Blink album. Brendon had the best taste in music out of all of us and he knew how to make good playlists.

The car ride to LA was far less as exciting as you might have guessed. It mostly involved Pete whining about wanting to listen to Kanye and Dallon complaining about his obnoxiously small bladder. We had to make four pit stops for that boy and it was only a four hour drive.

We arrived at the beach house around 9:30 and everyone quickly claimed their rooms for the week. Hannah and I shared the room at the end of the hall, Pete and Patrick were together and the other three took another room. Rooms technically didn't matter though since most of the time we would be out exploring the city or chilling in the living room together.

I was determined to have a good spring break and I think everyone else was too. I was glad to be back in the swing of things with everyone. What I was most glad about though was my friendship with Brendon. We were the closest of friends now and I couldn't be happier. Yes there were times I did miss all the excitement he gave me but I was still getting that, it was just a different kind. I was still living an adventurous life and I was still with Brendon, it was just different. Not bad, but I sometimes missed being able to kiss him or tease him. I missed calling him mine and I missed him calling me his.

"When you're unpacked we're all going out for drinks if you want to come," Hannah said as she threw her empty bags to the side.

"I might just stay in tonight, I'm a little tired," I said laughing a little. It was a long drive and in all honesty I was tired as hell.

"Suit yourself; you know where to find us!" Hannah said closing the bedroom door behind her. I heard everyone leave and I threw myself onto my bed.

"You're going to have fun," I said to myself with my eyes closed. "You're going to go out and have the time of your life while you still can." I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. I sat up and walked down into the kitchen and started making a pot of ramen noodles. I had the place to myself and I just wanted to kick back and watch the latest Pretty Little Liars episodes.

"Making enough for two?" I heard Brendon say as he walked into the kitchen. I jumped and turned around to find him smiling. That same devilish smile from the day we first met.

"I thought you went out with everyone else?" I said in more of a question. I opened another pack of noodles and mixed it in with my already boiling pot.

"No way, it's only the first night. I don't need to wake up with a hangover tomorrow," he laughed walking closer to me. Soon he was pressed against me and I was pinned to the corner of the counter.

"Um, Brendon, what are you doing?" I asked nervously. He laughed and reached above my head and grabbed a bottle of wine from the cabinets above us.

"Don't worry," he said shaking his head. "I just wanted some nice wine to wash down my noodles."

I let out a sigh. I couldn't tell if it was a disappointed sigh or if it was a sigh of relief. Brendon hadn't come that close in months and having his body that close to mine again felt so natural and so right. I shook the feeling off and finished making the noodles while he poured us two glasses of wine.

I joined him on the couch and he flipped through the channels on the tv.

"I was going to catch up on PLL," I said quietly.

"But Alex, Les Mis is on here," he said looking at me with pleading eyes.

I got really quiet as I looked him straight in the eyes. He did the same. I got lost looking for a reason not to love him in his eyes. My brain kept fighting me and my heart beat was speeding up. All I wanted to do in that moment was kiss him. Something I hadn't done in five months.

When I'm with Brendon I might as well have subtitles for my feelings that pop up over my head because he always knows. It was no different this time.

He slowly leaned in and I slowly leaned myself towards him. Our lips collided and everything I had missed for five months hit me like a truck. I was kissing Brendon again, Brendon was kissing me and I couldn't tell if I was glad about it or if I was angry.

I decided to stop thinking and I pulled him closer to me. Brendon pulled away quickly though.

"Alex, you don't want this," he said quietly. His heart sounded broken and I felt mine breaking. "You don't want me." He was so quiet now that I don't even think I was meant to hear the last part but I did, and it killed me.

"Brendon, I," I started but the front door opening surprised both Brendon and I.

"We got bored," Pete said walking in and throwing his backpack on the counter.

"Let's play poker!" Ryan said pulling out a deck of cards.

"Actually I think I'm going to go to bed," I said standing up. Everyone looked between me and Brendon and I turned and quickly walked up the stairs.

"What's up with her?" I heard Hannah ask.

"I don't know," Brendon said. I shut myself in my room and tucked myself under the blankets.

I didn't like Brendon, we were friends.

We had to be just friends.

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Okay hold on side note. First of all thank you so freaking much for 10k reads, that's actually insane. When i started writing this it was just a small little side project but i can honestly say this has become my favorite story so far. Second, things are just getting started be prepared for an unhealthy amount of drama in the next few chapters! I love reading your comments so please be sure to vote for my story and leave comments!!