Hallelujah

chapter fifty-two

I looked around the room I was in which seemed so familiar yet so new to me. I slipped out from under the covers and headed into the kitchen where I found Brendon standing there drinking coffee and making pancakes.

"Brendon," I said quietly.

"You're awake! How are you feeling?" he asked as he flipped a pancake.

"Um, I'm okay I guess," I said sitting down at the counter. He walked over to me and handed me a starbucks cup and a plate full of pancakes.

"Iced mocha with coconut milk right?" he asked.

"Yeah, thank you," I said as I started to eat the food in front of me. Brendon sat down across from me and followed my actions. We sat in pure silence for what felt like forever until I spoke up. "Brendon, what happened last night?"

"You were looking pretty sick and I couldn't find Josh so I took you back to my place. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Josh doesn't know I'm here does he?" I asked nervous.

"No, why?"

"He just doesn't think that I should be hanging around you too much because you aren't good for me," I said honestly.

"Alex, you know I care about you a lot. I would never hurt you, you know that right?" he asked.

"Yeah, of course. Um, can I take a shower?" I asked trying to change the topic.

"Go ahead I mean you used to live here anyways," he said laughing. I let out a small laugh and then quickly walked towards the bathroom. I slammed the door behind me and looked at myself in the mirror.

I was a mess. I checked my phone and saw a lot of texts and calls from Josh and I felt my heart break a bit. I left him there by himself. I felt so bad.

I dialed his number and called him.

"Josh?"

"Alex oh my god, thank god you're okay!" he sounded so worried.

"Yeah, sorry I started feling pretty sick and made someone take me home last night," I said. Lie.

"That's okay, you want to go out tonight?"

"Yeah of course!" I said. Immediately I started to smile, thinking about Josh just made me happy.

"Sweet! I'll pick you up at 4!" he said. We hung up our phones and I took a deep breath. I really liked Josh. A lot.

I turned on the shower but before I got in I realized there were no towels in here. I headed out towards the kitchen to find Brendon but I heard two voices this time.

"What's going on Brendon? Why did you call me over?" I heard Ryan's voice.

"Last night at the party, I saw well heard something that I'm freaking out over," Brendon said. He suddenly sounded more anxious then ever.

"What happened Brendon?"

"Okay so well, Alex, Josh, Sarah and I were all sitting around talking for a bit and the Josh got a text. His whole face changed and he stood up super quickly and excused himself to go off somewhere. I thought it was a little suspicious so I followed him and Ryan, it's not good," Brendon said out of breath.

"Brendon you're still in love with Alex aren't you?" Ryan said.

"Yes but that's not the point. I'm trying to protect her Ryan and Josh is not good news," Brendon explained.

"What did you see?"

Suddenly their voices got quieter and I could only hear whispering but I couldn't make out any of the words that were being said.

"Oh my god," Ryan said. I heard him take a few steps back. "You're positive it was Josh?"

"Ryan I wouldn't be telling you if I wasn't positive."

"I can't believe it's happening again. We went through this two years ago Brendon are you and him ever going to come to a happy medium?" Ryan asked, he sounded annoyed now.

"Ryan, you know it isn't that easy. If it was this would have been settled a long time ago and I don't think he's going to stop until one of us ends up dead."

"You do realize how much danger Alex can be in just because you and him haven't gotten over a stupid argument from three years ago?"

"I know! I knew I had a bad feeling about Josh and I just want her to be safe!" Brendon sounded so defeated.

"I don't know what to tell you Brendon she really likes Josh, and it's not like you can just flat out tell her about all this," Ryan said.

"I know, and that's what sucks. I guess I just have to try to be able to be there for her as much as possible."

The room went silent and that's when I decided to walk it.

"Um, do you have any towels?" I asked awkwardly. I looked at Ryan and smiled. "Oh hi Ryan." He waved back and Brendon handed me a towel. "Thanks," I mumbled then quickly went back to the bathroom.

I hopped into the shower and let the water hit my face, I felt myself slowly starting to cry and I hated it but eventually I couldn't stop the tears from coming down. Why was I in danger? I liked Josh there was no way anything could be wrong with him.

The door to the bathroom opened and I wiped away my tears quickly.

"Hello?" I called from behind the curtain.

"It's just Ryan," he said.

"Can I help you?" I asked still confused as to why he was in here.

"You heard Brendon and I talking didn't you?" I nodded behind the curtain even though he couldn't see me.

"Yeah," I said quietly.

"Alex, Brendon is just caught up in some deep shit right now, and Josh is a great guy I think he's just caught up with the wrong people. I do believe Josh really likes you and I believe you really like Josh and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Just please Alex, be careful. And when you're out with Josh keep your phone on you." He sounded like an overprotective parent but honestly, I wasn't complaining. I loved Ryan and I loved that he wanted to look out for me.

"Thank you Ryan," I said.

"Any time Alex," he said. And then I heard the door close. I finished my shower and then got dressed in one of Brendon's big shirts and a pair of leggings I had left behind.

"Can you drive me to my car at Ryan's?" I asked Brendon as I brushed through my hair. He nodded and grabbed the keys off the hook by the door.

The ride there was silent and I just stared out the window the entire time.

We got to Ryan's and before I got out Brendon grabbed my hand.

"What are you doing tonight?" he asked.

"I'm going out with Josh," I said. I felt bad telling him since I knew how he obviously felt about him but I would feel worse if I kept it a secret.

"Please, be careful Alex," he said gripping my hand tighter.

"I will."

I walked over to my car and got inside. Brendon sped out of the driveway and onto the road and I banged my head against my steering wheel.

Be careful Alex.