Hallelujah

chapter fifty-three

I got home around noon and cleaned up around the apartment.

"Hannah Josh is coming over around 4 so I don't know if you're going to be here or not but I just thought I should let you know," I said as I washed the pile of dirty dishes in our sink.

"Are you kicking me out of my own home?" she asked jokingly.

"I mean, kinda," I smiled.

"Don't worry kid I'll be out of your hair in a few. I'm going to spend the night at Dallon's if you know what I mean," she said giving me a wink.

"Ew," I gagged. She gave my arm a small slap and headed into her room.

Hannah left and about 10 minutes later Josh arrived.

"Hey babe," he said giving me a kiss. He spun his hat backwards so it didn't knock on my forehead. We both plopped ourselves on the couch and I leaned my head onto his lap.

We were on the second season of "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air" now and Josh was playing with my hair.

"Alex? Are you okay? You've barely said a word since I got here," he said tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I bit my lip and closed my eyes to keep myself from crying.

"I'm okay," I said in an unconvincing tone.

"Alex what's up?" Josh said. I felt every emotion building up inside of me and I really didn't want to cry.

"I like you Josh," I said quietly.

"I like you too Alex," Josh said laughing quietly.

I sat up and look at him, tears started to fall from my eyes and I couldn't stop myself from crying. I really liked Josh.

"No Josh, I really really like you," I said in between breathes. Josh paused the tv and turned so he was facing me. He lifted his hands up to my face and wiped away my tears.

"Alex what's going on?" he asked concerned.

"I'm just scared," I admitted.

"What are you scared of?"

"You, Josh."

He stopped for a minute and pulled me into a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed him tightly.

"Why?" he sounded slightly hurt and my heart was breaking.

"because Josh, the last time I let a boy into my life he completely fucked it up and left me broken in a thousand pieces. I don't know if I could do that again," I said crying more now.

"Alex, you know that I like you right? I like you a lot? I would do anything in the world to make you happy and keep you safe. Alex you are the most beautiful, intelligent, caring, and amazing girls I've ever met in my entire life. Alex do you trust me?"

"I don't know," I sighed. He took a deep breath and stood up. He walked over to the kitchen and grabbed his backpack from a stool. He threw on his sweater and tossed one to me.

"Put this on it's getting chilly out," he said. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a couple water bottles and put them in his bag. "Come on." He held out his hand to me and I grabbed it tightly.

"Where are we going?" I asked nervously.

"I need you to trust me on this one okay? Just try." I nodded and followed him out the door locking it behind me.

I didn't realize how late it had already gotten, we must had been watching tv for hours since now it was 10 o' clock and it was pitch dark out. Josh got into his car and I followed his lead. We started driving down some backroads and I stared out my window the entire time. I was staying quiet and Josh was quietly singing along to the radio.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I checked it.

Ryan: Alex, are you okay what's going on?

I thought it was a little weird that he was that concerned but I responded anyways.

Me: I'm fine Ryan

Ryan: Good I love you dude

I put my phone back in my pocket and Josh pulled into an empty parking lot.

"Where are we?" I asked looking around.

"The most perfect spot for stargazing," Josh said smiling brightly at me. I felt my heart get warmer and I suddenly felt less tense. I started feeling more comfortable again.

We got out of the car ad laid a blanket down on the damp grass. Josh laid down next to me and I rested my head on his chest. My head went up and down with the rhythm of his chest.

"You know, you're eyes light up most in the dark," he said quietly.

"That doesn't even make sense," I said laughing slightly.

"It's supposed to be romantic, let me live," he whined. I sat up and looked at his beautiful brown eyes. I leaned in slowly and planted a small kiss on his lips.

"I really really like you Josh Dun."