Chapter 22:

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"Jer! JEREMY! YOU THERE?!" I asked, rushing into my house.

"Kitchen!" He yelled back.

I made sure the doors were locked and quickly went into the kitchen, to find Jeremy working on his fantastic cooking abilities. Let me tell you, he is great.

"Hi!" I said, trying to sound cheery.

"Okay, seriously save that for later. Whats up?" Seriousness was written all over his face.

"I-uh, I, I don't know how to say this..Iuh, IkindatoldAshtonIlovehim!" I murmured, real fast.

"Sit." He ordered, I did as he asked me to.

"Okay now spill, slowly, so I can actually make out what you're trying to say!"

"Okay, I kinda, uh, told Ashton...that..I love him." I said, sighing.

"Wow. Thats good, what did he say?"

"NO! Its not. And no, i don't think he even hear me, when I went to visit him, Lily said he was asleep, but let me in anyway, so I was crushed by carrying so much weight around that I finally let it out, I mean no harm done, right? So, well, I uh, told him that I loved him and was just about to leave when he asked me to-" I gulped.

"To what?" Curiosity washed over Jer's face.

"Call Mel." I breather out.



Jeremy came over an wrapped his arms around me. I started crying, obviously. But no, I wouldn't. I know he doesn't love me, but I'm not going to mop around! I'm strong. And I'm capable of handling myself.

"I've made Pasta, I know its not much, but I figured a light meal would do." He said once I was under control.

"Sure, I'm okay with anything unless its not associated with fruits and lots of green veggies."

He chuckled, "Honestly I don't know how you haven't blown up to the size of a balloon!"

"Hey!" I protested. "Girl needs her nutrition okay."

"Usually guys say that, but whatever..go ahead."

I gobbled up everything on my plate, I was so hungry! And I didn't even realise that until I tasted this mouth watering pasta. Dammit.

"This is so good!" I said, while eating. Yeah, I'm pretty mannerless.

Jer just chuckled, and smirked.

Sure, I just gave him a huge ego boost.



"Ill do the plates, wasn't Jenny coming over? I'm sure she misses her brother!"

"Yeah, she already is, she's asleep in your room." He chuckled, again.

"Oh my gods! Jer! You didn't even tell me!" I whined.

"How was I to know you'd be so excited?"

"Oh please! Don't play dumb with me, you know how much I love that cute little thing"

Normally I would be away from kids, its not like I hated them, because I didn't. Its just that when they cry, it half scares me! Like shutup already. And their cries are SO loud and pathetic. Its like each and every one of them have been gifted with special powers to wail like a banshee.

I quickly washed my hands.

"You do the dishes, I'm gonna meet your sisstaaaaaaaa" I yelled over my shoulders as I ran past him and up the stairs.

"I what!" I heard him sigh and groan.

I didn't wanna wake the little cutie up, I hoped that she was awake.

I popped my head into the room, to check if she was asleep.

"DIANA!" She squeaked as she saw me, and jumped off the bed running into my arms. She had a wide grin plastered on her face and two beautiful dimples. She was by far the most adorable child I have ever seen!

I twirled her around, making her giggle.

Then I sat her down on my hip.

She poked my nose. "I missed you, Diana! You didn't come see me for so long!" She whined.

"Sorry little one, I was caught up with stuff. And plus, your brother didn't let me meet you!"

"Put me down! Put me down! I wanna hit Jeremy! Put me down!" She ordered.

I let her wiggle out of my grip once we were safely down the stairs.

She flashed me a thumbs up, and ran into the kitchen, where Jeremy was drinking water.

"Jeremy! Jeremy! Pick me up!"

I laughed, she was so cute!

He picked her up, but as soon as he did that, she started poking him all over his face. I cracked up, it was hilarious. She kept poking him, while he kept swatting her hand away.

"Okay okay Jenny, i give up. But at least tell me what did I do?"

"You stopped Diana from meeting me!" She pouted and started poking him again.



"Oops?" I said.

"Seriously. This amuses you, I suppose?" He asked.

"Of course!"

"I want ice creeeeaaaaaaaaaam," Jenny whined.

My eyes lit up, okay call me a child.

"No." Jeremy said, firmly.

My mouth was left open, but I wanted ice cream too!

"But I want ice cream toooooooo! I whined with Jenny.

Jeremy just rolled his eyes.

"No wonder you two get along" he muttered.

I laughed.



He sat Jenny up on the island, and I walked over and stood beside her.

Jeremy gave us both a bowl of ice cream with chocolate sauce and one for him self.

"After this, you will sleep okay?" Jeremy directed Jenny.

She nodded, not removing the spoon from her mouth at any cost. When she did, it was to say, "who will I sleep with? I missed you both!"

We looked at eachother.

"You can sleep with Diana today and me tomorrow." He suggested.

"No," she protested, "you both sleep with me."

"Fine. Go to Diana's room, we'll be there in a while, good night, princess." He said, and kissed her cheek.

I gave her a huge hug and bided good night.



"Why are you giving me a notebook?" I asked.

"Its not a notebook, its a diary, from now on you will write your feelings here, I won't take no for an answer Anna. You don't open up easily, you keep everything inside you for a long time and then it comes up to that point where you can't take it anymore and have an outburst. Now, to avoid that, you have to write your thoughts in this, its personal, I won't read it, I promise."

I hugged him and gave a planted a kiss on his cheek. "I love you, you know that right?"

He grinned, and nodded.




I groaned. "Jer, I can't think of anything!"

"Then write you can't think of anything."

"I hate you," I muttered.

"Heard that, and you can write that as well."

I rolled my eyes.

We were in my room, Jeremy took the floor, I insisted on him sleeping with his sister and not on the floor or anywhere but he wouldn't budge. I had no idea he was that strong! I tried pushing and kicking him out of the way, but it didn't affect him the slightest bit and i gave up. He asked me to write if I needed to share something or get something out of my system. I was doing just that, I guess.

I switched the lights off and got up to leave my room.

"Need me to come?" Jeremy asked, almost asleep.

"No Jer, ill be fine. Go sleep."

"Night Diana."

"Night Jer."



I hopped onto my couch and started writing.


Dear diary,

Or whatever you are supposed to stay when you write. I don't know what to say, except for the fact that I am thankful to God for sending me friends like the ones I have. People say I'm an orphan or don't have a family. I refuse to believe that completely. I have a family, a huge one. So what if we aren't blood related? It doesn't matter. I love them, they love me. I made my own family, a family thats hard to break.

I went to visit Ashton today. And I told him I loved him. I have kept this secret for 9 years straight. I never let him know, he never caught on it. You could easily say I moved on, but no. I have just gotten better at hiding it. Hiding it from him and from everyone else. I know he doesn't share the mutual feelings, so why should I even bother to push? I learnt to adjust to the fact that he will never feel that way with me, and now its okay. Its okay because Im so used to it, that I don't feel like reacting anymore. Every nerve in my body is sick and tired. That doesn't change it though. I still love him, not the same. Just more than before. Everyday I love him more and more.

The reason why I read all day is because I know that somewhere in this world, someone is happy. Someone found their true love, someone loved someone as much as I do. And that someone gives me hope. I have hope, I yet do. I would be wrong to deny it, so I won't. I still hope that he loves me back, but I know he won't.

Enough about that, I'm really excited for my dance competition. Since you know, wait, I haven't told you-

We will be performing on 'I wish' by one direction. Ya my idea, of course. What? I love their songs! They are so wonderful and touchy and romantic and just yeah okay.

So we are doing this piece where Jeremy sees Steven/Lana and Mason/Maddison dance and he gets jealous and misses the way we used to dance (thats Jer and I) since we are supposed to be lovers or something. So thats how the entire routine is set up, and every time Jeremy remembers a strong moment of me with him, we start breaking to show how his heart is reacting to that memory. Personally, I love the idea. And the best part is, the song is just perfect because it says:

'But I see you with him
Slow dancing
Tearing me apart
'Cause you don't see
Whenever you kiss him
I'm breaking,
Oh how I wish that was me'

Everything is just perfect.

This diary thing actually works. I'm gonna be meeting with Mason tomorrow, I can't wait! Yay. Its not because I love him or anything, I mean I do love him but not romantically. Finally after a long long time I get to meet him. I have known Mase for long enough too. Its just so shocking how everyone has stuck up to me even though I haven't done much to deserve it.

For all I know, I'm not the bestest girl ever. If I wanna show attitude and be mean, I can be that way. I'm not the shy kind, I never have been. I am confident and I can be a bitch to who ever I want to and whenever I want to. But still these people have always been by my side, no matter what. I know how much their friendship means to me.

But I don't know why I am telling an inanimate object all this?

And...I'm really sleepy, Ill write you tomorrow.



This actually helped. Damn Jer. He's a genius!


I walked back into my room, and plopped myself on bed. Jenny snuggled into me, and I let her. She was my teddy bear tonight.


Today was well a really long day, starting with waking up and running around the halls to telling Ashton I love him.

Its funny how I haven't spoken to myself today. I guess I'm not that worked up after all.

I had seriously started to doubt that I was going crazy.


Then I slowly drifted off to sleep.


_______________________________________________________

Hey guys, I know this is a little short but to make up for that, the next chapter is going to be from Jeremy's point of view ;)

Haha, I hope you are excited, I know you are xD so you gots to wait. MUHAHAAHA.

Anyways, I love you guys ya, you are like the best!

I have a lot of people on team Ashton and team Jeremy both. Do me a favour and tell me why are you in whichever team you are x

I love you, Bestfriend.Where stories live. Discover now