I love you, Bestfriend.

Chapter 58:

No, no, no, this can’t be happening.

Why does Jer have a diary?

Doesn’t matter, I just don’t want this girl to be who I think she is.

I flipped a few pages, looking for the word Lisa. It has to be there somewhere.

I found it and read through it.

I didn’t know I could feel so strongly for someone until I met her. She’s the sweetest person alive. She always thinks about others before herself. Her personality makes me want to be a better person. She never cares about her happiness, at least not as much as she cares about others.

At first, I didn’t want to give her up. I didn’t want her running off behind the jerk face, I knew I could make her happy, but I also knew she was in love with him. I tried what every guy does. I tried making her jealous.

I told Lisa this, and she supported me. She said it wouldn’t do any good, but she doesn’t mind giving it a try. So when I dated Lisa. However I later realized the Jerk face wasn’t a Jerk at all. In fact he was very much like her.

He didn’t mind giving up his happiness for hers. He knew he was hurting her all along, but he did it on purpose. He thought she would start hating him eventually, move on. But, that wouldn’t happen. I knew that. All he wanted was for her to be happy and not blame him for what he did. He had promised her mom, and he couldn’t do anything otherwise.

I can’t believe how unselfish they are.

So I did what they always do. I let go of my happiness and tried finding it in hers. I told him to tell her everything, to make amends. I told her to trust him.

I did things right didn’t I, mom? Even though you weren’t there for me, I grew up to be someone-

 

“Please tell me you didn’t read that” Jeremy said from behind me.

I was in tears now, no matter what this was a lot to digest. I said something stupid like, “Why do you have a diary?”

He sighed. “When my mom left us, I was small. I didn’t know how to cope up with the situation. My dad suggested therapy but I was young and I didn’t want to do that shit. The next thing I know, he got me this book and told me to write down stuff…said I should think of this book as my mom, just telling her what happened, what troubles me and how I overcome it, etc, etc.”

“You still have it?”

“I kind of got into the habit.”

“That’s why you suggested me to…to?”

“Yeah”

We were silent. I didn’t have words, and he probably was trying to figure out if I saw something.

“Why are you crying?” he asked, sitting near me on the bed, motioning me to sit beside him.

“Why would you…why would you not-not tell me a-about-” I couldn’t complete my sentence. I didn’t know what to say. He was the most amazing friend anyone could imagine. He was perfect. He was fun, smart, stupid, weird, loving, spontaneous, adventurous, mature and a gentleman.

He pulled me into a hug, which I gladly accepted.

“You weren’t supposed to read that. Ever” he said

“But I did” I countered.

“Yeah you did. So what? Big deal, do you want me to give you an explanation?” he asked.