Hotel Room Service ( A Julian Draxler Fanfiction)[Completed]

Chapter 45

~You're not afraid to love, you're afraid of not being loved back~

Today

Lila

- Hello ?
I repeated again but it was obvious that the line had gone dead. I started shaking. My nerves were starting to take the best of me. I can't believe that I called Julian and that his manager replied instead of him. It's obvious that I lost my one and only chance to talk to him because as far as I know Kim, she isn't going to tell Julian about me calling.
- Damn it!
I screamed throwing my phone away.
- Everything will be better if you relax.
Meghan said while checking the new bookings in the computer.
- No, it won't! Kim's not going to tell him that I called.
I complained and I picked up my phone. At least, I haven't caused any trouble at it while throwing it away.
- Have you ever thought that maybe's better like that ?
Meghan asked and I rolled my eyes. I can't believe she was insisting that I should let Julian go and that I should give Thomas a second chance. Meghan doesn't know, but I do. I don't trust Thomas, at least not anymore.
- I know what I'm doing.
I replied feeling betrayed. I can't accept the fact that my own best friend isn't able to understand.
- If you say so.
Meghan replied looking at me. I do think that she understands what has Thomas done, but she's afraid that if she accepts it, it can cause problems to her relation with Robert.
- You know, I have to talk to Thomas.
I said aloud surprising myself as well.
- There you go! I thought that you weren't going to forgive him.
Meghan commented, smiling brightly.
- I'm not.
I replied heading to the room we change. I came back again after a while wearing my own clothes, having get rid of the hotel's uniform.
- What are you doing ?
Meghan asked looking at me as if I was crazy.
- I can't wait any longer Meghan, this whole situation has driven me crazy.
- You won't wait that much, just until our shift's over. Lila, get it together please, Cody's going to fire you.
- She won't! Just tell her that I felt sick and that I left, it's that simple.
- Is it ?
She asked looking at me in disbelief. I had to admit, it wasn't the best idea I've ever had, I don't even know, why I was that hasty. What I had to say to Thomas could definitely wait.
No, it couldn't.
Deep inside I knew why I couldn't wait. I wanted to call Julian immediately, and I wanted to tell him that Thomas and I were over. I really was hoping that by this I could change his desicion about his marriage. I knew that this was crazy, but I wanted the next time I would talk to him, to speak only truths. I was sick of my own lies.
All these years, what I had completely understood was that if you once start with a lie, you have to finish with a lie as well. And my lies were over. I had to live in reality now.
- Yes, it is. Just tell her that, if she asks you, I really have to go.
- Lila....
Her voice cracked. I don't know if Cody was really scaring her or if she was doing that in order to make me change my mind about what I was going to tell Thomas but I really wasn't interested to find out right now.
- I'll be okay Meghan.
I reassured her, touching her hand.
She smiled at me. It was obvious that she didn't agree with any of my plans but she just gave up.
- I trust you. Good luck.
She said and I gave her a warm smile before exiting.
I tried to call Julian once more but his phone was dead.
I'll try again later.
I thought to myself, as I was walking with fast steps to Thoma's house.

My hands were shaking as I knocked on his door. I had been really confident with what I was going to tell him, but right now, I was silently praying him not to open the door.
The door opened and my prays failed once again.
- Lila ?
He asked surprised. He took a step closer to me, placing his hands in my face. I was pretty sure he would attempt to kiss me so I took a step back.
- Can I come in ?
I asked, praying that my voice had sounded steady.
- Sure.
He said letting me in.
I heard the sound of the door closing behind us, and I started feeling nervous. I wasn't as prepared for this, as I thought I was.
I cought a little trying to clear my throat and avoiding to look him in the eyes.
- Thomas, I don't know how to say this but.....
I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I just didn't have the guts to say it.
- Say it Lila.
He said looking down. The fact that he was sad, made me understand that he had understood himself. And I don't know if that made it easier for me because he wasn't going to be surprised.
- I need us to break up.
I said without looking at me.
- I knew it. Is it because you think that I wrote the warnings ?
- Yes, no, I mean no....... I do think that you have something to do with them but this isn't the reason why I'm breaking up with you.
I answered surprised at how honest I was.
- Can I learn the reason then ?
He asked and I blushed. I'm pretty sure he knew that as well.
- I need some time on my own.
I answered looking down.
- Is it that or you're in love ?
- In love ?
- In love with someone else ?
I felt my cheeks turn red. Why has he have to do this ? He knew that I was in love with Julian. Everybody knew that.
- I need to go Thomas.
- You didn't answer.
- You're clever enough, to know the answer and I really don't see the point in what you're doing right now.
I said and I turned to leave. At least I had managed to say it.
His laugh caught my attention. He wasn't going to give up that easily. I already knew that.
- Do you think I deserve that ?
He asked coming closer to me. His body was against mine and he lowered his head enough for his lips to be close to mine.
- No, and I'm sorry. I just came to say that to you in person.
I replied carefully, but it was obvious that Thomas didn't care about my answer.
- You make me so mad and yet....
- No, Thomas enough. You don't get what's going on here. We're not fighting, we're breaking up.
I said and I pushed him away from me. He looked at me surprised.
- If you didn't want us to be a thing you should have said it from the early beginning.
- I know.
I admitted with my eyes looking down.
- You do ?
He asked smirking.
- Yes, and I'm sorry.

- What's wrong with your phone ?
I asked again and again, as I was trying to call Julian again and again but he didn't reply.
In fact, his phone was shut down.
I had started to lose my patience. Why had Kim to reply earlier ? Couldn't Julian even use his own phone ?
I had lost my temper and I was exhausted. It was about midnight and I knew that I didn't have a chance talk to him, at least not until tomorrow.
I decided to have a shower and then go to sleep. My shift was early tomorrow morning and I really needed some sleep.
While showering, I thought of everything that happened today. I had hurt Thoma's feelings again, accussing him for something that maybe had nothing to do with, although I really doubted that and I had risked my job twice. First, because of leaving like that and secondly by calling Julian. But I didn't care, specifically about the second. I had decided to call him again and again until I could reach him. I couldn't think of any other way.

Stepping outside the bathroom with only a towel covering my body, I heard my phone ringing. My heart starting to beat faster as I thought that maybe it was him. I grabbed my phone and I got dissappointed. It wasn't Julian, in fact it was a number that I couldn't recognize. It stopped ringing immediately. I felt like crying and I really needed a good cry right now. What if Kim had told him about me calling and he was just trying to avoid me ? These thoughts made me sick.
I headed to my room, wore my pajamas and laid to my bed.
Why everything had to be so difficult ?
I closed my eyes for a moment. I hated my life. I only needed Julian but he didn't need me.
My phone started vibrating again and I checked it once more. The number I couldn't recognize was calling again. I decided to pick it up, although I was afraid:
Who was calling me so late at night ?
- Hello ?
I responded.
- Lila.....
I felt butterflies in my stomach when hearing his voice.
- Julian ?