The little things

2 am thoughts

So it's 2:30 in the morning, and my feelings run riot.

I recognise that I have to get up at 7, no deliberation there, but I'm wandering how little if any sleep I will actually get.

And besides I know that any sleep I do get will be restless and of poor quality, so instead of waking up rejuvenated, I'll wake up feeling worse.

But I digress. 2 am feelings are the worst to listen to. I'm highly emotional and the tiredness leads to lack of inhibition.

I'm feeling sentimental, I'm feeling deep, I'm feeling lonely and lost and longing for love. I'm feeling creative and moved and my muse is hot wired.

And because of this, thoughts and quotes are floating around my head, and it's too much right now, I can't handle everything at once.

I want to scream, I want to smile, I feel so broken it would make angels weep.

And the fact is, my mind is never quiet, because all of this is crammed in, constantly needing my focus, but I push it all aside and slam it behind a door.

And at 2 am the floodgates open, everything I've locked away comes rushing out. It's a violent storm in my brain, and it's so loud I can't hear myself think.

2 am thoughts run riot, and I've forgotten what I wanted to say. It was quite important to, ah well, if I remember I'll update you.

But 2 am thoughts make me physically hurt, the have power like no words spoken by anyone else, and not even sleep gives me release from this torrent of torture.

All I can do, is beg for sleep.