The little things

Words are not feelings.

I can't tell you how I'm feeling.

Have you ever been in those a moments where you can't describe what you're feeling, but you just know you feel.

I always try my best, but it never comes close.

Of course I have the vocabulary and the descriptives, but words are never enough.

To make someone understand what it feels like when I have so much energy and exuberance I could burst, I would have to give them the best and most exciting moment of their life.

To make someone know how I feel when I'm in emotional pain so profound I can't explain how deep it is. I would somehow have to find a way of inflicting an equal in physical pain, I would have to break every bone in their body, rip their heart out with my bare hands to make them feel what I feel.

When I'm in love, to make someone feel how powerful it is, I would have to find something that they love equally and makes them so high on adrenaline, I would have to increase their heartbeat a hundred times over.

Or how when I feel sick, I don't feel like I'm actually going to throw up, but I feel like my stomach has been flipped upside down and inside out and it feels like someone has it gripped tightly in their hand and they're pulsing it, I would have to make them feel that to understand.

To make someone experience how I feel right now....
I don't know, because I still can't explain to myself how I feel, even without words.

I would have to make them feel all of this, the excitement, the pain, the love. I would have to make them feel that all in one moment they are living the best moments of their life, they are experiencing the most powerful emotions and the most intense pain, as if they've never been better and they're more ill than they've ever been.

I would have to make them feel like they were dying.

Even then that doesn't come close to how I feel.

1.8.16