The little things

Little Girl

There was a little girl. She had short brown hair and sapphire blue eyes. She loved to laugh. She always had a smile. She never cried, was never sad.

This little girl loved to read. She read stories of boys and girls just like her, going on adventures, learning and growing. Their happiness always shining through. Always having a happy ending.

The little girl promised herself she would be happy. She promised herself she would get her happy ending with her Prince Charming.

There was a little boy once. He had blonde hair and pale blue eyes. He was kind. He was joyous and helpful.

He too enjoyed books and stories, he read stories of pirates and adventure. He promised himself he would do great things and he would be a hero. He would be Prince Charming.

The little girl and the little boy met. And they grew a friendship. A bond so strong it stood the test of time.

And as they grew, the girl would steal glances and wonder if they would ever be more. Like everyone thought they would.

And the boy would watch from afar wondering if he would be the Prince Charming she had promised herself. If he could bring her the happiness and the happy ending. If he could be the hero.

But as he grew he wasn't so sure he could be the hero anymore, his bright blonde hair grew darker until it was almost brown. And his eyes became tinted green. A sign nobody saw. The first evil creeping in, changing his vision.

And he no longer wanted to be the hero. He didn't want to be Prince Charming. But just not being them wasn't enough. He had to prove it. He had to be the opposite. He would be the villain.

And the girl changed too. She continued with her decision to be happy. She made a good name for herself. She was a good student. She laughed with friends.

And slowly though she never realised it. The boy turned on the girl. He drifted apart. He spread rumours. He would use his venomous tongue to poison her reputation. The poison her.

And only too late did she realise what had happened. The poison was almost wrapping it's wispy fingers around her heart.

She could now see the boy in his true form. Not the blonde haired, blue eyed boy. But she could see the venomous tongue, the horns, the spiked tail and the red glowing eyes.

She had been blinded by the beauty of the boy. She had forgotten that the devil was once an angel. And she had stood by and watched as the angel fell. And she felt guilty, feeling she could've helped.

And slowly the poison wove it's way into her heart blackening it and the girl continued to grow and change.

Her short brown hair had grown into long black hair. Her sapphire blue eyes had become cloudy and grey.

Her sparkle had gone. She never laughed. Didn't even smile. She cried at least once a day. Usually more. She broke her promise of happiness.

And slowly she didn't need the boy's poison to ruin her reputation. She pulled it to the ground herself. She made her friends hate her. She shut everyone out. She lost all hope of Prince Charming. Her grades dropped until she was failing. She lost all respect. She'd destroyed her chance of a happy ending.

And now worn away to nothing she could see, that she had been so focused and getting what she promised herself, she had destroyed any chance of getting it.

Her hope was gone.

And the depression sunk in.

She would have panic attacks in the middle of the night. Feeling that if she wasn't good enough for herself, that she would never be good enough for anyone else. Crying was a hobby.

And while she spiralled downwards she watched the boy. And realised. He was no longer the hero of his books. He was just like the Pirates.

He would lie and cheat to get what he wanted. He would steal. If he couldn't steal something physical he would steal something else. Popularity, genius, happiness, friends. He would leave you broken.

And she turned back to her books, in the hopes they could return her happy ending. Even just a small spark within her would do. Anything.

And she found that she would loose herself in books and tv shows and films. Unable to fully connect to reality. Wishing that the storylines were her life. They weren't always happy or safe, but they were better than her life.

But it didn't work for long. After a while it made it worse. She didn't realise that she could still hurt more. That she could cry more year. That she could cause more damage.

And every time she thought she'd reached rock bottom, she fell further. She became an insomniac. She couldn't eat.

She would go to school covered in cuts and bruises and wearing far too much makeup in hopes of hiding the dark circles and the marks.

She continued to grow, collapsing deeper into this damaging version of herself. She was violent and dangerous.

Though as she grew she fought even deeper battles with herself. The Prince Charming she had been waiting for, for so long.

She wasn't she if that was just it. She battled with her sexuality. Confused and lost in the world by herself.

She was childlike and seemed to a little girl again. But she was no where near similar to little girl she originally was. She was broken and beaten and afraid.

She couldn't seem to find a way out and just got more and more lost and wayward. She was a child that had seen and known far too much pain and sorrow. Lonely, afraid and far from home, in the unfair world we live in.

And she often found herself wanting for that little girl that she once was.

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