CREAM OF THE CROP

Chapter 7 - Jamei

"Settle down everyone and let's start the debate." pahayag ni Mr. Raqueno

I hear murmurs. Some are excited, some are pissed and some just don't care.

"Proceed to count off. Those who will get number 1 will be the HEARTLESS team and number 2 will be the HEARTBROKEN team. The HEARTLESS will stay on the right side of the room and the HEARTBROKEN will be at the left. Choose your leader and let's start. C'mon guys hurry up." Pagpapatuloy ni sir

Nagsimula nang mag-ingay ang buong klase. Nag-umpisa na rin ang countings. The numbers 1 and 2 are dancing in the air. If I were to choose, I would definitely choose Heartless because that is what I believe in. The age of martyrdom has long been gone. We live in an age where minds weigh heavier than the heart. People may play pretend but they can never fool me. Kahit gaano pa itago, lalabas at lalabas ang pagka-walang puso ng bawat tao. Sana sa heartless ako mapunta.

Hindi ko namalayan na katabi ko na pala ang nagsasalita.

"1." Sharisse declared.

Oh shit, "2." I halfheartedly muttered

I'm absolutely dead. I wholeheartedly wanted to be one of the heartless and here I am, lazily carrying my chair to the right side of our room. The odds today aren't in my favor. I'm doomed. Bakit yung mga gustong-gusto pa natin ang hindi napapasaatin? Is this the way of the universe to tell us that not everything we want will be given to us?

Imbis na maging asset ako sa grupo ko ay baka maging liability pa ako, which is something I can't stomach. So I started to imagine myself in the shoes of those who would rather get their hearts broken than hurting someone dear to them. Kahit naman gustong-gusto ko sa ibang side ay wala akong magagawa kundi ang panindigan ang naibigay sa akin.

Inilibot ko ang aking tingin sa mga taong bumubuo sa bikog na bilog na kinaroroonan ko. "Ano na guys?" panimula ko. Carl belongs to our group. There is this unwritten agreement that ang may pinakamataas na rank ang magiging leader sa bawat group.

"So," Carl cleared his throat to set the atmosphere. "Tayo ang mga martyr sa pag-ibig. Whether we like it or not, so please, kung ang isip niyo ay nasa kabila, quit this team.

"Let us try to put ourselves in the shoes of the martyrs. And let us ask ourselves, why would I rather be heartbroken than break someone else's heart?" pagpapatuloy niya

I saw them think. Yung iba, kitang-kita sa mukha ang determinasyon na magbigay ng matalinong argumento habang yung iba ay blangko lang ang mukha pero alam kong nag-iisip rin sila.

"Can I hear your answers first before I give mine?" I asked Carl. He nodded.

"I'd rather be heartbroken than break a heart kasi mas gugustuhin ko pa na akin nalang ang lahat ng sakit kesa makita ang iba na nasasaktan."

"Mas pipiliin ko ang magkaroon ng pusok warak-warak kesa walang puso."

"May mga bagay kasi na kahit gaano mo ipilit, hinding hindi mapapasaiyo kaya wala kang ibang pagpipilian kundi pakawalan ang mga ito at ang tanging maiiwan ay ang basag mong puso."

Pagkarinig sa mga sagot nila, nabigyan ako ng motibasyon na ipaglaban ang mga punto namin.

"You have great arguments guys. Let's just not forget our stand. We are the people who would choose to be broken than break another one. Pero hindi nangangahulugan na martir tayo. Let us change how people view this situation." I said to help Carl. I know he is vulnerable when it comes to feelings. Sadyang may mga tao lang talaga na sobrang taas ang IQ pero hindi gaano kataas ang Emotional Quotient.

Napatango ang mga kagrupo ko at nagsimula na kaming magkanya-kanya sa pagbuo ng argumentong isasaad. Pagkalipas ng dalawang minuto ay nagsalita na si Mr. Raqueño.

"Alright class, prepare yourselves and we shall begin. Leaders of the two opposing teams will present an opening remark." Panimula niya

"Let us hear first from the Heartless team." He declared

Tumayo si Jamei sa kabila. Tumingin sa akin si Carl. His eyes were pleading. "Avi please ikaw na lang?"

"Okay." sabi ko. I totally understand him. And besides, gusto kong makipag argumento. Lalo pa at si Jamei ang kalaban. I want to hear her argue.

The atmosphere suddenly became heavy. There is a tension in the air. Kung nabiyayaan lang ang mga tao ng kakayahang makarinig ng klaro mula sa malayo ay maririnig ang mga pusong nagsisitakbuhan.

"I stand here to speak for the people who prefer to be heartless than be heartbroken. I stand here to speak for the voices of these people whose cries go unheard." panimula ni Jamei

"We believe that the age of martyrdom has long been gone. Hindi na uso ang magpakamartir para sa mga taong hindi kayang suklian ang binibigay natin. Hindi na uso ang magparaya para sa ikaliligaya ng iba. Kami ang mga taong pagod nang magbigay, kami yung mga taong nagsasabing, 'Sila nalang lagi, ako naman ngayon. Sarili ko naman ang mamahalin ko.'" She cleared her throat and continued

"May mga tao kasi na mapang-abuso. Kaya bago pa sila makapang-abuso, tatapusin na namin ang dapat tapusin. Even if it means losing our heart, even if we become persons we said we'd never be. Because we are so tired of being broken. Kami yung mga klase ng tao na pipiliing sumira ng puso kesa puso namin ang masira. Ngayon, gusto namin na kami naman yung mahalaga, kami naman yung mauuna, kami naman yung hahabol-habulin." She added in finality. Jamei has always been deep. Lahat ng sinasabi niya ay sinusubok kung gaano kalalim ang nalalaman ko tungkol sa totoong buhay.

Lahat ng nasa kabilang grupo ay pumalakpak. I want to tap her shoulder and say "I feel you." because I think the same way but instead I looked away. I should stand by our side, kahit hinihila na ako sa kabila.

I faked a laugh before starting. "I see humans but no humanity."

"Palaging pinaaalala ng mga teachers natin sa Edukasyon sa Pagpapakatao magmula Grade 7 Hanggang Grade 10 ang katagang 'madaling maging tao pero mahirap magpakatao.' We are the kind of people who live by this quote. It's true. It's very easy to be born in this world but it's not easy to be a person of humanity.

"We are the the people who believe in the essence of giving, regardless of the form. We believe that it's better to get our hearts broken than break someone else's heart. It's not martyrdom, it's love. I know it may sound weird, but it's easy to say that you'd never let your heart be broken but when love comes to you, it will cast you a spell - a dark magic in which you have no chances of getting away from. Kapag napana ka na ni kupido, magiging tanga ka. Do not ever underestimate the power of love." I stated in conclusion

"If you had your heart broken many times before, would you still choose to break your own heart?"

***

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