CREAM OF THE CROP

Chapter 13 - Broken Home

Mabilis na lumipas ang oras. Napagod ng maggitara si David, nakauwi na si Marie, tinawag na ni Tita si Lane para matulog, at mahimbing na ring ulog si Sav sa kandungan ko.

"Dave, ipapasok ko lang si Sav tas uuwi na ako."

"Sige."

Binuhat muna ni Dave si Sav para makatayo ako. When I finally got him, I walked towards the door. When I entered the sala, all eyes turned to me. I suddenly became conscious.

"What is it?" tanong ko in general.

They were eyeing me like I'm a picture and they are putting something, trying if it will fit. What is this, a photoshop?

"Okay na," sabi ni Tito Elias sabay tingin doon sa lalaki na ngayon ay madilim ang tingin sa akin. Pagkatingin ko ay iniwas niya ang tingin niya. I swear his eyes became a shade darker.

Kinagat niya ang pang-ibabang labi pagkatapos ay ipinatong ang dalawang kamay sa ibabaw ng kanyang dibdib. Our eyes again made contact. Hindi niya muling binawi ito katulad ng ginawa niya kanina. Bagkus ay mas lumalim pa ang titig niya. May kung ano namang mainit na bagay sa tiyan ko.

Bigla kong naramdaman ang bigat ni Sav na nagpabalik sa akin sa katinuan. By that, I cut our eye contact and swallowed the lump in my throat. In my peripheral view, I could see him still looking at me. Damn this is so uncomfortable.

"I-I... Tita si Sav," sabi ko kay Tita Evelyn.

"Akin na," sabi niya at binuhat na si Sav.

"Tita, uuwi na po ako."

"Agad?"

"Opo, marami pa kasing requirements," I reasoned

"Don't stress yourself too much, okay?" paalala niya. Umoo na lang ako. Iniisip ko palang kung gaano kadami ay nai-stress na ako.

"Toffer, ihatid mo tong pinsan mo sa kanila.

"Tita, nandiyan lang yang bahay oh," natatawa kong sabi but I let Toffer walk me home. Nakasanayan na kasi. Since I was a kid, meron dapat maghahatid sa akin pauwi kapag pumupunta ako sa bahay nila Tita.

"Tito Ely, una na po ako."

"Sige anak mag-iingat ka. David ihatid niyo si Avi," utos niya

Natampal ko na lang ang aking noo. They're overreacting. As if naman may mangyayaring hindi maganda on my way to our house. Pwera nalang kapag isusumpa ako ng tadhana at matataon pa na may masagi akong bato sa daanan.

"No, no Tito. Binilin na ni tita si Toffer."

"Ganun ba, sige."

"Come on Avi, I'll walk you home," aya ni Toffer.

"Ang daming paandar nila tita andiyan lang yang bahay o," tanggi ko.

"Hayaan mo na sina tita. Hindi ka pa ba
nasasanay?"

"Sanay na. But, duh, ang laki-laki ko na hindi ko na kailangan ng maghahatid."

Ipinatong niya ang kanang kamay sa ulo ko at ginulo ang buhok ko. "Avi, you might have grown up but you're still a princess to our family, alright?"

Napangiti ako dahil doon. Parang may mainit na bagay na humaplos sa puso ko. It's like a promise na kahit anong mangyari, they will always be there for me, they are still my family.

"Tara na baka hinahanap ka na sa inyo."

Tumango ako. Toffer opened the gate at linakad namin ang daanan papunta sa bahay.

"Salamat. Balik ka na."

"Ginabi ka na naman! Palagi na lang bang ganito?!" Sigaw ni Mama mula sa loob.

Narinig rin iyon ni Toffer kaya binaling niya ang atensiyon sa akin. He looked worried and at the same time looked like he didn't know what to do.

"Do you want to stay at Tita's house for a while?"

"No, it's okay. I'm fine," sabi ko na lang tsaka ngumiti ng pilit. I don't want to bother them.
Hinintay ko munang makaalis si Toffer bago buksan ang gate sa bahay. I took heavy steps forward. They're fighting again.

Mom was shouting pero tahimik lang si Papa. I don't know what happened to them. Napapadalas kasi ang pag-uwi ni Papa ng late kaya tong si Mama napaparanoid. I don't really know what happened to their love. It seems to be fading away.

I tried to ignore them but I can't ignore my heart that's slowly breaking. Habang lumilipas ang oras ay palakas ng palakas ang boses ni Mama at paunti-unti rin ang pagkabuo ng luha sa mata ko.

Umakyat ako sa hagdanan at binuksan ang pintuan ng kwarto ko. I closed the door with force baka sakaling tumigil na sila but they won't stop fighting. I hurried to my study table and got my earphones. I set the volume to the maximum level kahit na masakit sa tenga. I don't care if my ears would break but not my heart. I can't risk it.

They would yell, they would scream, they were fighting it out

She would hope, she would pray, she was waiting it out

Holding on to a dream while she watches these walls fall down

This song, it tells my story. It's painful to hear these words but I can't find the courage to click next.

Sharp words like knives they were cutting her down

Shattered glass like the past, it's a memory now

Holding on to a dream while she watches these walls fall down

I internalized every word of the lyrics of this song. It's painful. But I know I need to welcome this pain until I get used to it. Nagiging masokista na ata ako. But hearing this song is like diving into a story that mirrors my life and I'm watching myself and I want to stop her but I can't because we may be the same person but it's hers, it's not my story.

I opened my twitter and typed "Hey mom, hey dad when did this end?"