CREAM OF THE CROP

Chapter 37

Our flight was scheduled on the second day of the semestral break. Fortunately, Hovi got her passport already. While the others, hindi pinayagan.

Mabuti nalang at pinayagan ako nila papa. They still won't say a thing and I've been giving them the cold shoulder ever since. Kaya napaisip ako na baka panlambing lang nila sa akin bilang kapalit ng pananahimik nila. But they have a condition: Toffer has to go with us.

Wow, I didn't even see him in weeks now. Then malalaman ko na kasama namin siya papuntang U.S.? Mag best-friend nga sila ni Corbyn, parehong hindi mahagilap.

It's been a month since he vanished. I dunno if he's dead and I admit I'm so worried I think I'm gonna lose my sanity. Nag-aalala man kay Verca ay hindi ko maiwasan na isipin siya, which is both sad and pathetic because I don't even know if the person I'm so worried about thinks of me even for a millisecond.

I packed lightly - my mother's advice, since may gamit naman daw ako sa resthouse. Handa na ang Cleveland para sa amin.

"Need a help, couz?" Toffer carefully offered.

I looked at my belongings. I'm holding a small trolley. May sling bag rin ako na hinugot ko nalamg basta doon sa lagayan. I think this is what I used when Arvin and I went to have lunch together. "I'm a girl and I can do it myself," I fired.

He raised both of his arms in surrender. "Chill, cousin," sabi niya habang nakangiti. Pabebe.

Habang nasa daan kami papunta kina Hovi ay paminsan-minsan siyang magtatanong ng kung ano-ano para mag-open ng topic na sasagutin ko naman para lang tapusin.

Pakiramdam ko ay napipikon na rin siya. Bahala siya sa buhay niya.

Looking at him brings back the frustrations of not being told what's going on. Bumalik muli yung sakit na pilit kong isinantabi nitong mga nakaraang linggo.

"What is your problem?" he emphasized every word. Toffer rarely gets this serious. I have to admit I find him scary.

Ninenerbiyos man ay pilit kong pinanatili ang pagka-bitchy ng hitsura ko.

"You know something, right?" I tried to make it sound brave and hard. Pero yung totoo naiiyak na ako dahil sa pinaghalong takot at sakit.

He stopped moving. I think I can hear the cogs of his brain work together. One moment he looked angry then suddenly he looked like he doesn't know what to do.

I laughed bitterly. "I'm right."

"I'm sorry."

"All I want is to hear the truth and here I am, hearing apologies instead," I said.

Pumikit siya ng mariin.

Masakit ang tignan siyang nahihirapan. But what really is harder: to be the one who wants to tell the truth but not allowed to or be someone who's deprived of the truth?

"Bakit ayaw niyong sabihin? Please, Toffer. Am I not trustworthy enough?" I cried.

"Dammit Avi, don't do this to me," ramdam ko yung hirap niya.

"Hindi ko ba deserve yung katotohanan? Don't give me the 'masyado ka pang bata para maintindihan' shit because I'm not accepting that reason," I said.

"It's not like that."

"Then what?! Tangina baka naman ikakasal na siya at ayaw lang sabihin sakin?! Yun ba?!"

"You watch too much drama," he said. I noticed the laugh hidden beneath the fake seriousness.

"Gago eh kung sinabi mo na sana diba para hindi ako nanghu-" I stopped in mid-sentence when the door on Toffer's side opened, revealing Hovea. Nagulat ata siya sa pagsigaw ko pero tingin ko mas nagulat siya noong tumama ang tingin niya sa kaaway ko. Nakarating na pala kami hindi man lang sinabi ni Manong driver.