Somewhat Safe (The Walking Dead Fanfic)

Chapter 9 - I'm Stupid

He sat not saying a word, my head resting on his shaking shoulder.

I lifted my head to look at him.

His face was straight. Not on sight of any expression. He was just...blank

I couldn't speak. My lips were sealed closed. The only words I could think of I had already said a thousand times.

I'm sorry.....

I looked down to see peaceful little Judith soundly asleep in my arms.

A smile crept it's way onto my tear stained face.

I slowly moved away from Carl. Judith moved her little arm and I stopped dead, hoping I didn't wake her up. I didn't...... Thank God

Deciding it would be best to put her back in her 'crib', I stood up and paced over to the other side of the room. Carefully, I placed the sleeping baby back into her basket and turned back around to face Carl.

I took a deep breath and traipsed back to the bed.

Carl looked up at me, and I stared right back into the oceans that were his eyes.

I knelt down in front of him, our eyes still locked.

Carl closed his eyes (I would say blinked but his eyes were shut for a good 5 seconds). When they opened again he was staring right at floor.

"Carl I--"

"Get out...."

My eyes widened. I went to protest but retreated. I wasn't going argue with him. I'd caused enough.

"Ok...." I agreed and pushed myself off the floor.

I made my way towards the opening of the cell but stopped when I reached the door frame. I looked back at the mourning Carl sitting on the bed.

"Carl..."

No response....

"I'm sorry.." I mumbled (but loud enough for him to hear me) as I left the cell.

***

The whole way back to my cell I was feeling like a complete idiot.

Why did I say that? He probably hates me now. What am I on about 'probably'? He definitely hates me. Uggghh I'm so stupid.

The thought circled through my mind as I walked.

I was staring head on but I defiantly wasn't looking where I was going.

Before I could even process the situation I was face to face with a wall.

"Shit.." I mumbled a bit too loudly. I turned around, hand on my forehead, to see most eyes glaring back at me.

I could feel my face burning in embarrassment.

"Sorry.... I'm dumb.... Wasn't looking where I was going......" my mouth spilled out with words to cover up my stupidness. "I'm... gonna.... go now" I stated and pointed behind me in the direction I was meant to be going.

I spun on my heals following my finger, and jogged off in the direction I was pointing.

Yup, l'm definitely fucking stupid.

***

I got back to my small little cell and almost instantly after my head hit the pillow, I drifted off to sleep. I guess my eyes were just tired from the all the tears I shed.

It felt as if I was spinning while I was sleeping. I don't know why. It just did. Is that normal? No.... Oh... Ok.

***

I don't know how long I was asleep. Nor do I know where my mind went while I was asleep.

The noise that awoke me made me feel like I was at home again. I still hate the noise but I felt at home.

Then the noise actually hit me. A wave of the most crappy feeling of dread flew threw my body.

Why is there a fucking baby crying outside my cell?