Leap Of Faith

|-5

" How can you smile when your world is crumbling down ?" -sounds of blackness

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Doctors Appointments 🏥🙄

Tossing and turnin all night I couldn't get no sleep. After the news Tee dropped on me last night when they got in the house. I wanted to put it all behind me and keep moving on with my life. It's funny how god work only been living in New York for a few days now and the man child I been keeping away from him could be my best friend new boo brother.

God also don't like ugly I been the best single mother ever but I asked to be one. little did everybody know the night of the party three years ago while we were in the car riding around we added each other on IG. I could've easily told him about Emily but after I found out I was pregnant I blocked him. The hurt side of me just wanted my boyfriend to be her father I was praying she was and I knew if Carter found out about me having a way to contact him. He wouldn't wanted nothing else to do with me. Now it's all coming at me full speed I feel fucked up how I handle the station.

The sun start coming through my black curtains. Opening and shutting my eyes letting them unjust to the sun light. Pushing the covers back and swinging my legs on the side of the bed I slide my feet into my Nike slides walking out room over to Emily's. She was sleeping so peacefully I hated to have to wake her up but we both had doctors appointments today for her school and my job.

"Baby come on wake up, time to get up." I said picking up her from her twin size bed standing her up on her feet.

" No mommy , NOOOO " She yelled like I was beating her dropping down to the floor. This is something I go through every morning when she don't get the right amount of sleep at night.

"Emily get up so you can take a nice bath and eat breakfast." I said going to pick up again before she start swinging her arms and kicking her feet crying.

"Swing again you really going to be crying mommy done being nice GET UP NOW !" Pulling up her by her arm walking her into her bathroom turning on the water making sure it wasn't to hot or cold before removing her P.J's from her body watching her cry with her eyes closed. Picking up her placing her into the water.

My child was indeed soiled and don't get whoppings she was a princess to me nothing she ever did in my eyes was called for a "popping". The few people I let watch her knew not to pop my child call me to come get her before you put hands on my child that's one reason I went to seven different daycare centers. Before I found the right one and it was the most expensive but I felt comfortable in there and around the teachers. I don't trust people but Emily was a open book to me she'll tell me if someone did anything to her.

"Mommy sorry for being a meany." Her soft baby voice cut me out of my thoughts.

"It's okay but when mommy tell you cut the TV off it's bed time you have to listen. So from now on out I will come cut it off at night okay ? " I asked hoping she understand that this morning attitude wasn't okay.

"Okay mommy can I pick out my outfit today ? " Shaking my head yes. I washed her and took her out heading back to her room drying her body free of water.

"Here is your under clothes and baby loathe use a little bit okay ? When you done come find me so I can do your hair."