Complicated//Shawn Mendes// !COMPLETED! ✔️

Chapter 10

I heard him swear and felt that his grip on my waist is getting weaker and weaker.He put me down,my legs now on the ground instead around his waist.I frowned at him,confused with his actions.

''What's the matter?'',I whispered.

''I'm not the guy you want me to be.I'm not the nice guy,I don't do things like this,like that day on the lake.I use and replace.Stay away from me,Arya.Stay away,for your good'',he spoke slowly.
''What the fuck?You tell me to stay away from you and what was I doing for the past month and so? You freak out about that and now you are telling me to do the same thing.Do you even hear yourself?'',I raised my voice.
I turned around and started walking backwards still facing him.My hands on my head,desperate look on my face and shaky voice: ''Why did you have an urge to come into my life?''
I started sobing.I was over with everything.
''WHY?WHY?WHY?WHY?WHY?'',I was screaming at him.
He walked over to me and hugged me tight.I pushed myself away,hit him on the chest with my tiny fists and screamed all over again.
''LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE MY LIFE JUST LIKE YOU CAME IN IT.WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?WHY?'',I screamed.

He didn't let me go,nothing made him let me go,not my fists,not my screams.He was too strong.I didn't want to be in his arms.He can't come here and tell me to stay away and then hug me like he cares.
''SHAWN LET ME GO.GO AND FUCK WITH SOMEONE ELSE,LEAVE ME! GO AND BE THE MAN WHORE YOU ARE AND YOU WERE BEFORE WE MET!'',I said but I immediately regreted what I had said.
He let me go.I was too harsh,I was mean,I didn't want to be mean.
''Fuck you! You are mood switching bi-'',he stopped himself.
''One moment you are burning in desire and in the other moment you hate me'',he continued.

''JUST LIKE YOU'',I raged.
''Just go and fuck yourself'',he said,unlocked the door and left.
I was left there standing alone.I was too late to class and honestly I wasn't capable to go to class neither.I didn't know what had happened.I was too confused with everything.With him thinking one,saying other and doing third.On what are we now? What are we anyways? Everything is so messed up.I'm messed up,he's messed up.I don't even know what I'm feeling.Fuck.I'm so fucked up.I slowly walked out of the school.

***
Next few days I didn't go to school.I refused everyone's calls and texts.I lied to my parents that I was sick.It wasn't a total lie,I was sick,but sick of everything and everyone.I was my own disease.Those nights I didn't sleep at all.Over the day I was learning and again not sleeping.I turned pale,I haven't eaten properly in few days,my overall appearance was horrible.Parents wanted to take me to mother's hospital,but I refused.I didn't have dark circles under my eyes,now they were turning red and purple.I couldn't sleep not only because of Shawn,don't get me wrong,I wasn't love sick,he was just a trigger.I was questioning everything about myself,him,friends,school...
Finally I persuaded parents to let me go to school again,blaming my appearance on not sleeping only that night.That was a big lie.I wanted to go to school,I needed a distraction from my own thoughts.

***
Layla was,long story short,shocked when she saw me.I barely could speak and move due to that I haven't slept in 5 days straight.I knew that I looked awful,you didn't even have to tell me that.I looked like I was a walking corpse.

I survived my first classes,didn't eat for lunch although Layla and girls were literally forcing me.Haven't seen Shawn either.Last two classes-MATH.Survive that and you are a hero. On math everyone was sittng alone,just what I needed.I sat down and looked down to notes Layla gave me.

''Finally someone decided to show up to school'',I looked up and saw Shawn's face.

His facial expression from his usual cocky face turned to shocked and worried one in seconds when he saw my face.
''Just taking your habits,Mendes'',I said.
''Are you okay?'',he asked and you could hear worry in his voice.

''Like you care'',I replied and rolled my eyes.

He wanted to say something,but he just sat at the desk next to mine.Professor came in and lesson started.I felt Shawn's look on me during the class but I didn't want to do anything about that,I was too tired.
''Why don't you Arya go out and do the exercise on the board for us,as a welcome back?'',professor called me out.
I stood up and started walking.Everything was in slow motion,look right,look left,only my heartbeat drumming in my ears.I hear professor calling my name and asking me if I am okay,but I couldn't answer,I just kept moving forward slowly.Darkness was filling up my vision.I felt warm liquid on my lip,I touched it with my fingerprint.Blood.Blood dripping from my nose.In that moment,everything was dark and I started falling down.My body hitting the floor and my head slamming against something,I hope it was the floor.Last thing I heard was Shawn's voice yelling my name.Next...blackout.

I woke up in my bed.Look left,I see an infusion and a tube in my vein,my mother is here I already knew because of that.Look right,everything is soo blury,I see someone sleeping in the chair next to my bed.I rub my eyes,Layla.I rub my eyes again and I see Shawn sleeping on the floor next to her.What are they doing here? What time is it? 03:46am,my watch says so..I pluck out the infusion out of my vein and blood rushes out of it.I stop the blood with my sheets,I'll wash them,I need to stand up.When blood stopped running out I tried to get up.I felt dizzy.I closed my eyes and started walking.Grip around my body.I already know it too good,it's his.Moments later we were sitting on my bed and talking.I collapsed,he picked me up and ran to my house,called my mother somehow and there we are.I should thank him.

''Thank you for that'',I finally do.

''You don't have to,anyone would do it'',he replied.
''And no one did,but you,so just shut up and take it'',I said.
He smiled and took my little advice.

''Don't you ever do that to yourself.Did you hear me?'',he said as he was looking at me.
''Do what?'',I acted like I didn't know what he was talking about.
''You know exactly what.I'm not stupid,Arya.I've been also through a lot.I know that you haven't slept in days,that you haven't eaten too,I saw you at the lunch today,I know that you passed out because you were overly exhausted and because all these things mixed up in one.Please,don't do that again to yourself'',he explained.
''Why do you care about me all of a sudden?'',I asked.

''Go to sleep,Arya'',he said and left me,once again without any goodbye or anything.

//I'm not satisfied with this at all..Forgive me for this horrible chapter,today is just not my day and I'm not feeling good at all tbh.Sorry once again//