Complicated//Shawn Mendes// !COMPLETED! ✔️

Chapter 13

I felt my heart in my throat as I saw his fist coming closer to my face.I closed my eyes and shortly after I heard a punch,but I didn't feel anything.I opened my eyes and his fist was next to my head,in the wall.I just slipped down the wall and sat on the floor,under him.I was paralyzed out of fear so I just stared blanky and covered my face with my hands as I curled up in a ball to feel safer.
''I didn't mean to do it,Arya,really I didn't'',he spoke to me slowly as he tried to take my hands of my face.
''Don't touch me'',I spat.
''Arya,cmon,please,look at me'',he took my hands off my face.
As stubborn as I am,I didn't want to look at him so I closed my eyes.No one ever did that to me,no one ever hit me,I know that he didn't also,but he was so close to do it.His hands now on my chin,I felt his look on me and I was actually to scared to look in his eyes,afraid of the void and anger swimming in them.
''Arya,I didn't want to hit you,I would never do that.It's just...it's just that you make me crazy,you make me do things I never do'',he said.

''No,Shawn,don't you blame this on me now! This is exactly who you are.Arogant,cocky,agressive,heartless moron who hurts people.I know you've hit people before and hurt girl's feelings so just give up'',I snapped.
''Arya,I'm s..'',he tried to say something.

''What? Sorry? YOU CAN'T EVEN SAY IT! And you know that sometimes if you said sorry it would make difference and better'',I yelled at him.

I opened my eyes and looked at him.His empty eyes were staring back at me.There was something different with them this time.It's like I saw a little beam of ''I'm sorry,I was wrong'' floating in them.
''You are right.I can't say it and you know that I am that way but somehow you always stick with me and why is that?'',he asked.
Is this turning in a squabble again?Of course it is,that's just what we are.Two souls who constantly dig into each other's wounds.
''I don't know...but I pushed you out my life and I forgot about you,found Isaac and then you again stepped in my life,beating the shit out of Isaac and now almost doing the same with me.What do you want me to say? You came in my life firstly and you did that again now'',I speaked as I saw him sit on the floor right beside me.
''I did.That's true.The fact is that you know what I exactly like.You make me go for you and then you push me away,it drives me crazy and if that means being crazy then I enjoy it.You know how to resist me and how to set your face against me and you are fun'',he spoke.
''It's the chase,isn't it?'',I asked.

''What?'',he turned around towards me.

''The chase.The chase for me is what keeps you around?'',I said.

He stayed quiet.

''Fun.All I am is a little bit of unordinary fun no one ever gave you a taste of.Yeah..'',I sighed.

''No,Arya..'',he mumbled.

''Shawn,stop.Don't fight with me over this one,cmon,you said it yourself'',I spoke gently.
He stayed quiet once again.I got up and pickedup his car keys silently.I couldn't spent a second more with him there.I got up in the bedroom,picked up my phone,put sweatpants on and went down.I heard him calling my name but I left on the backdoor.
Started his black jeep and drove off leaving him there alone without his car and without ride back home.I didn't care.He will find a solution,I know that.I didn't know where I was going,I didn't know how to get back home so I just drove.I left him a note on bed.I didn't know why,but I just did.My phone was turned off,music slowly playing as rain started falling.My emotions were building up in me.The oddest things hurt me.They get stuck in my head and replay over and over.It hurts you know?When a person you are starting to feel attached to says you are only fun to them.My heart ached.My throat was sore and I couldn't swallow.My tears mimicked the raindrops on the glass of the car,rolling down my cheeks as the raindrops rolled down the glass.I stopped in the middle of the road.There was no one.Rain was pouring now.I got out of his car.IT EVEN SMELLED LIKE HIM! I started inhaling fresh air,breathing in heavily and breathing out in pain as I let all my emotions out with it.Rain soaking my clothes,well his clothes, and soaking my hair.I won't cry.It's meaningless.Crying makes me feel lighter and better but what for? I didn't have reason to cry. I was stupid little girl who let all of this happen.I let myself near him,I let my heart feel things for him,but then who wouldn't do the same?I thought I was special but all I was and will be is ONE OF MANY.I got in the car,soaking wet,took his clothes of me and put it on the backseat.I was lost.In every way.I didn't know where I was.I drove and drove for hours and all I saw was forest,everywhere.Night was coming and dark was cravling down the trees.I parked somewhere,locked myself and decided to spend night there.Day is smarter then night.I turned radio on a little bit louder,went on backseat and curled up as I was almost naked,cold and soaking wet.I was tired so I fell asleep really soon.

Shawn's POV

I wanted to tell her that she made me feel like no one before did.She wasn't just the one night fun to me.I never hung out with a girl more than one night.I didn't hang out with her either,but she was always around.Me teasing her and she fighting back.She was smart and I loved that.I was drawn to her.I was hooked to her,she was fascinating to me with her smart green eyes and sharp tongue.Mind games we played roused my attraction to her.Still I didn't want to love her,I just wanted to have her.Is that wrong?

I messed up again.Called her just a fun to me.She wasn't much more,but in the other hand she was.She was right.She was just a different kind of fun to me.Or maybe not? I don't know how to define my feelings toward her. I craved her.I went crazy when I saw that idiot putting his hands around her body and trying to taste her lips,like she belonged to me.I still get angry when I think about that and yet I call her just a fun to me? I simply don't know. Undefined feelings.

I called her name.She didn't answer.Maybe she didn't hear me upstairs.I called out louder.Still no answer.I wanted to make things right with her,from all those mixed feelings only thing I knew in that moment was I needed to make things right with Arya.I was going up the stairs when I heard car engine starting.I rushed out.It was my car,with Arya in it,leaving in the could of dust.She ran away with my car.I was shook.I didn't feel angry at her,I was stunned with that.I would never expect Arya to steal my car and run away with it.You see what I am talking about?She always found the way to surprise me and make me interested in her presence.A struck of worry hit me.Did she even know how to drive?Does she know the way back home? I was worried now.Of course she doesn't,she is a newbie.I ran back in the house.Aaron.I need to call him,right now.I was searching for my phone.Nowhere to be found.I went up in my bedroom,it must be there.I came in and noticed little piece of crumbled paper on the sheets.A note?

''Your love is a waiting game and I'm not much of a player'',the note said.
I found myself blinking at it for couple of moments and then it hit me.Fuck.I stared at it,not knowing how to react.I saw my phone sitting right beside her dress.I picked it up and called Aaron,the feeling of worry pushed all other feelings out of my mind.I couldn't react on that note,I felt frozen.

''Aye,man! What's up?'',he said carelessly.
''Aaron,where are you?'',I asked seriously.
''With Layla,why?What's wrong?'',he was worried now.
''Ask her if Arya is home?'',I said.
''Shawn,what happened?'',he asked me.
''She is not home,she didn't came home,her phone is off and Layla didn't hear anything from her.Dude,what the fuck is happening?'',he was nervous.

''A lot to explain.You need to pick me up,she left with my car,I can't go anywhere and she doesn't know the way home probably.Look man,I will explain everything to you,just get here and get me out of here.I need to find her.Lie to her parents if they ask,don't raise panick'',I tried to explain shorther as I could.
''Dude,are you fucking serious?'',he yelled and I heard Layla freaking out in the background.
''Yes.Just come!'',I yelled back.
''We are on our way,Jesus fucking Christ Shawn,you fucking said everything will be fine'',he said and hung up on me.

Yeah,I said I wouldn't do anything to her and yet there I am sitting here as I made her run away.I went down and sat on the porch letting cold,Canadian,fresh air cut my exposed cheeks.As I was waiting for them rain started pouring.All I could think about was where she is.I'll feel really guilty if something happens to her.

I saw Aaron's jeep rushing towards me.They got out of the car and immediately attacked me.I explained them everything.We had a fight and she stole my car,now she is nowhere to be found.
''You stay here! I'll find her and bring her back'',I said as I got in his car. 

He gave me his keys and my double keys which I always kept in this house because it wasn't the first time I lost my keys here,but never this way.

''You better do'',Layla said to me as I drifted away into the night.

I was driving for I don't know how long,looking everywhere,searching for her.Make up your mistakes,Shawn.It was somewhere after midnight when I saw a familiar jeep parked along the road in the forest.All she did was drive straight.I stopped Aaron's jeep and got out of it.I unlocked the doors and looked inside through the window.I saw her little body curled up on the backseat.She was sleeping only in her underwear.Once again we meet as she is almost naked in front of me.I slowly opened the doors and put my arms around her weak,cold body.I held her body in my arms and slowly pulled her out of the car,trying not to wake her up.Her wet hair crawled on my arm and was falling down as her head dangled from how I picked her up.What did she do? Why is her clothes,her hair and body all wet? I took a deep breath.What is this girl making from me? What am I even doing? Why do I even care?