Problem is that I can't focus.
"XY under the..umm..3rd radical..equals to...umm",I press my eyes with my hand in order to focus.
"Focus,Christensen",he teases me and his famous smirk is already plastered to his face.
His hand glides slowly to my chair and he moves it,with me on it,closer to him.
"Maybe we should say to professor that I'm too much of a distraction to you? Hmm?",he teases more and more.I place my hand on his chest and slowly push him away, puckering my lips to make confused,commanding and disapproving face.
"If only Mendes...this is only because I slept poorly and because I'm tired of school",I disagree with him and squint my eyes.
"You can't influence me in any way",I cut him off.
"Hmm.I wouldn't agree..What about now?",I feel his fingers tracing up my skin from my ankle to my thigh.
"Not even now",I show no emotion.
"What about this?",I feel his lips on mine.
My whole body wants to scream his name but I hold back.He can't influence me anymore.His lips pull away from mine and he just stares at me.
"Never had colder kiss then this one",he says seriously.
"But you probably gave a lot of them.You know...that's cold,emotionless kiss",I smile bitchy.
"Sure",now he is salty.
This is what we do. My pride against his. Constant war between us.
"So this equals to this part here,after you apply the rule I wrote here", I start explaining again.
"I know that. No need to treat me like a child",rude jerk.
"No need to be like that.I've been trying to help you for past an hour and I could be somewhere else",I say and move my chair a little bit further from him.
"Then go. I certainly don't need you",he closes the book violently.
"What if I don't want to?",I ask.
"But you also don't want to stay...so what's the point?",slaty answer.
"There is no point in us",I snap and leave his room.
Doors slam behind me and as I march down the hallway I hear him opening them.
His hand around my waist.
I turn around to face him.
"Mendes what's wrong with you? The second ago you pushed me away and now what?",I look him in his eyes.
"That's what we do..we push and pull,we fight and then make up",he leans his head on mine.
"Make up what?",I snap.
"How could we fight and make up because there is nothing to hold on?We don't have anything together",painful truth.
"How can you say that? We have...we have us",he breathes out.
"Us..us isn't enough Shawn",I feel weight on my chest.
"Define us anyway",I pull back and stand in front of him like a child looking for an answer.
"I can't....I can't because we don't exist,just like you said",the other Shawn is back.
"Yeah..though so",my voice fragile.
"Then stay away from me",I say barely as I go downstairs.
"You didn't even have to say it to me and I would do it anyway",I hear him saying back.
I hate this Shawn.He can be much better,but that lasts for only a moment. I'm attracted to this Shawn,but I fell in love with the other Shawn.
Karen and Aaliyah are on their way out when I appear in the living room.
"Oh,Arya,you are done?",she asks.
"Yes.I need to go home now",I barely say.
"That was fast.We are leaving now too",she frowns.
"It's my fault.I didn't bring enough exercise books so we'll continue another time",I lie.
"Ohh. Where is he anyway?! He is not walking his guest out?! Oh God, I certainly didn't raise him like that",she shakes her head in a disapproval.
"Don't worry about that.It's fine and I said that he doesn't have to",another lie.
"Ugh..still.Do you want to come with us so we can drive you back home?",she asks me.
"Thank you,Karen,but I'll walk home.After all that math I would like a little bit of fresh air",I smile at her so she doesn't notice that we just had a fight.
"I totally believe you",she smiles back.
She spreads her arms wide asking for a hug.I hug her and then I hug Aaliyah.
"Will you come again?",she asks.
"I want to watch movies with you and that",she says.
"I will sweetie",I smile,wave to her and head out.
Cold air hits me and cold breeze carries snowflakes onto my hair.Instead of going home I head towards the Beachfront Park.(...)
Waves hit the shore slowly and I sit on a bench near the water. Now tears are rolling down my cheeks and I'm drowning in my own thoughts. I think about him,about me,about us,about everything. I overthink it. Music blasting in my earphones. Suddenly, a soft touch on my shoulder snaps me out of my thoughts.
I turn around. My eyes meet with blue eyes of a stranger.
"I'm sorry.Can I sit here? It's the only dry bench over here",the person gives me a smile.
"Yes,of course",I smile back and quickly wipe my eyes and cheeks.
I examine my company. My company is a boy with ocean blue eyes and short brown,almost black hair.He is maybe my age or year-two older.His lips are the color of the plum and really full,nice.Long eyelashes cover his eyes a bit.Tiny mole sits under his eyes like a beauty mark.
"I'm Theo anyways",he breaks the awkward silence and gives me wonderful smile as he sticks his hand out towards me.
"I'm Arya. Nice to meet you",I smile back and shake his hand.
"You come here often?",I ask him.
"Ohh,yes.Almost every time I need to be alone and fix myself up,you?"he says.
"Amm,sometimes",I shrug.
"You go to school here?You are familiar to me,like really badly..",he examines my face.
"I do actually",I look at him.
"Sophomore?",he titles his head a bit.
"Nope,Junior",I answer.
"I'm Senior and I totally remember seeing you in the halls",he says.
"I haven't noticed you..umm,I'm pretty much distracted all the time,umm",my tongue starts twisting as I'm ashamed.
"Awh,cmon...I didn't expect you to notice me",he smiles.
"I don't want to be rude,but why is a girl like you crying?",he asks and looks at me once again.
"Long and stupid story.I guess it has just built up in me",I roll my eyes and shake my head.
"If you'd feel better you can tell me. I love long stories and it's easier to talk to a stranger",his lips curve into quite kind smile.
"Trust me it's not worth of mentioning",I sigh.
Somehow we end up talking about everything,except Shawn,in case you were wondering. It was completely unnecessary to mention him to anyone.We've been talking about habits,school and then food,films,music etc.Theo gave me his number and I gave him mine.As I type in his number,my eyes shit to clock.Shit.It's midnight.We've been talking for the past three hours?!
"I must sprint home now! It's midnight and we have school tomorrow",I speak fast.
"Holy shit,fuck,we completely forgot about time. I must go home,too. See you in school tomorrow?",unexpectedly he hugs me.
"See you",I say and run away towards my house.(...)
I finally lay down in my bed.Sleep is already pulling me down.I take a quick glance at my phone before I drift away.
One unread message:
"Home safely?",it reads.Theo.How sweet is this?
"Home safely and in one piece! U?",I reply immediately.
"Same..but school tomorrow makes me wish I didn't",he types back.
"Feeling is mutual...",I state.
"Anyways, nightie and cya",his message makes me giggle.
"Nightie lol",I send to him.I put my phone down and cuddle in my sheets. "nightie" such a sweet,cute word,I can't even.I slowly fall asleep as I think about this kind boy.Such a sweetheart,isn't he?
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Complicated//Shawn Mendes// !COMPLETED! ✔️
Fanfiction''I need to save myself from this chaos called Shawn Mendes'',she said to herself. Hope you like it xo