Complicated//Shawn Mendes// !COMPLETED! ✔️

Chapter 17

Our noses touching,our breaths synced,our eyes closed,our heads leaned on each other.I want to stay like this forever.I feel safe.I feel like everything is fine.
He slowly pushes his head back and takes my face in his arms.His eyes on my eyes.

''Thank you for this.No one ever did something like this for me'',he says as he caresses my skin with his thumbs.I swear his touch could move the mountains,calm war down and make everything fine.
''There is no need to thank me'',I say.
He sighs like something is troubling him.
''What's the matter?'',I ask.

''Nothing'',short answer.

''Don't lie to me,I know when something is off'',I place my hand on his while he is still holding my face.
''I promise you that you can tell me everything'',I speak the truth.
''That's the problem..'',he starts speaking.I don't want to interupt him so I just listen.
''The problem is that I trust you,that everything seems so different when you are around,that I act like I have never before,that now I'm telling you how I feel and I never did that before,that I feel fine and happy around you,that I want to meet you and get to know you,that I want to get close to you and that is bad'',he opens up.
''Don't get this wrong.I'm not confessing you love or anything.I'm just trusting you as a person and I don't know why.I guess because you are so nice and good,because you don't treat me the way others do'',he continues.
I stay silent for couple of moments.It's a lot to process,you know?Am I changing him?
''Do you want to meet me?'',I ask.

''I do,but I don't.I don't want to get close to you,because I know I'll hurt you'',he looks down.

''Isaac was my friend and look what I did to him..I don't know how to keep friends and I don't know how to care for another human being'',his words quietly plant sadness inside me.
''You do know how to care for another human being.Look,you care for me and you show it by saying those stuff'',I say.
''That's the problem.I care for you.I never did that and I don't know how to act'',he is becoming more and more quiet.
''I have an idea.Let's meet each other.We know each other for almost four months now and we don't know anything about each other.It's almost like we don't know each other'',I say loudly.
''Pizza and getting to know each other will fix things up,will it?'',I try to cheer him up.
''Sounds good and I'm starving right now'',a small smile appears on his face.
And our moment was ruined.Our heads pulled from each other,our noses stopped touching,our breaths weren't synced and we were pulled from that pure moment.

***
''So where do you live?'',I ask first question as I eat pizza.
''Few blocks up away from you'',he answer.
''Okay,your turn'',I say.
''Favourite colour?''

''Blue'',I take another bite of pizaa.

''Favourite movie?'',I ask.
''The Great Gatsby'',he answers with his full mouth.

''OH! Who would say!?'',I chuckle.

And this goes on and on.We talked for hours about everything.He asked me about Europe and back home,so I told him everything.I got to know his favourite everything,what he dislikes and what he likes.It was so normal.For the first time we had normal conversation,like normal people do.

''You know everything about my family,what about yours?'',I ask.
His facial expression immediately changes.
''There is nothing to know about'',he cuts me off.
''I'm sorry if that's too sensitive for you'',I say something I'll regret.

''Sensitive? Really? It's not like I am a cry baby or something,Jesus'',he gets angry in a second.

''I didn't mean it like that.I'm sorry.Just a wrong pick of words'',I say.
''Listen.My family is fucked up,my father left us when we were children and since then my mother is not well.She is constantly on meds,but at least she takes care of my sister the way she should'',he snaps.
''It's fine.I'm sorry'',I repeat.

''IT'S NOT FINE AND STOP SAYING YOU'RE SORRY'',he stands up.
''I'm sorr-'',I stop myself.
''You just can't stop,can you?'',he asks angrily.
''Well,fuck you.We were having such a nice time and you,of course,had to ruin it'',I snap at him and stand up too.
He closes his eyes and breathes in and out.Is he calming himself? I come closer to him and put my hand on his.He opens his eyes and looks at our hands.

''Listen to me.It's okay.I get it.Your family is fucked up and you can't do anything about that.I didn't want to hurt you and I never would'',I say.

''I didn't mean to snap like that'',he says quietly.
''It's okay'',I move my hand from his and hug him.

This is the last thing he expected.I hear his heartbeat.He slowly pushes me away.Well,not what I expected.

''Don't do that'',he whispers.
''Why not?'',I ask.

''I don't do hugs'',he looks at me seriously.
I mumble something like ''whatever'' and go to clean the mess we had left.He stands still there,staring at me.Dishes in the washing machine,food in fridge,garbage in a can,gauzes and those stuff also in the garbage.Done in seconds.
''What? Are you going to stare at me forever there?'',I ask a little bit salty.
''I love to look how your body moves'',he says.

I look at him,he looks me up and down and bites his swollen lip.

''Don't bite your lip'',I command.

''Why not?'',he asks,acting innocent.
''Because it has a weird effect on me and it's swollen,you might hurt it even more'',I answer.

''Can I bite your lip instead?'',his deep voice makes me shiver.

''Try to'',I tease.

As I see him coming closer I run past him and start running upstairs.He follows me.Right before I enter my room I feel his hand around my waist.With such a force he picks me up from the ground and puts me over his shoulder.I scream joyfully.In other second I feel his hands on my legs and he throws me roughly on my bed.His body hovering over me.I can hear his fast breaths.I was breathing fast,too.I don't know is it from running or excitement he gives me.He looks at me and I feel his hand grabing the fabric of my t-shirt.Soon enough I feel his palm on my stomach and his other hand taking my shirt off.I stop him by slowly pushing his hand with my shirt in it down.I look at him.

''That wasn't our deal'',I breathe out.
''Oh yeah?'',he asks although he is out of breath.

''Yeah'',I say.

''It wasn't smart to tease me with that little ''try to'' of yours'',he says still hovering over me.

''Oh it wasn't?'',I tease him a little bit more.

''Absolutely not'',he aswers while tensions,sexual tensions,got more tense between us.