2-4-17
I watched you trim your toenails
Earlier
On the windowsill,
But your foot's still made of lead,
And I try not to worry.
The interior space feels
Like a velvet dream-
Perhaps money can solve something.
Answers don't lie in fabric material,
Or the roll of the hills
Because something so smooth
Keeps ringing in my ears,
Like I've always had the need
To fuck it up.
I watch as the smooth line turns into something jagged
And pretty soon, the ink is aggressive,
The spikes higher than the view I have.
Your windshield sticks from your eyes,
Which are red
But not from a substance tonight.
Oh god what have I seen,
I've melted from my toenails
Because mine never were like lead-
I've been a floating existence
For as long as I know.
She says she's happy I'm better
Except I'm not me.
She says the hospital gave me medicine,
Something about PTSD,
Except trauma is for the living
And I see right through me.
The suspension of limbs
Still crushes all the leaves,
We walk, we talk,
And she watches me breathe
Except I'm not breathing at all.
Aeronautics stole us from the skyline,
I'm closer to where I should be,
But I feel I'm further away from that
Than most days.
The answers are in the clouds
But I'm made of the dirt.
"Escape"
"Vacation"
"Time away"
The extremes weigh heavy.
I do not know where I am-
The devil is God
And God is the devil,
I'm so lost.
Yet I follow her on the lines
Made for pedestrians
Hoping I'm gone already.
The hotel's lampshades pull me in
Because I'm looking through new eyes.
Temperature took me to hell,
Or maybe the angel got me here..
Maybe that was her plan all along,
Bring me into a world without enough flaw,
So I'll go way under all at once.
But I'm an angel now too,
And she's taking my pills and draining them.
It makes sense to me.
I put the violence in a frame
And fold clothing on the sheets.
My soul is torn,
I'm living through you,
And experiencing Lucifer's dreamscape.
He says the people are sick,
And if I stay,
I'm a product.
If I leave-
Now that's hope.
Your skin feels the rays by the pool
And I can't do a thing to open your eyes,
Because the last one who had eyes that saw the truth,
Felt a thousand shards of glass.
Words leave my mouth before I hear them from another side,
But they're to be comprehended to an extent,
And nothing more.
I can't tell if you're seeing
Or, internally,
Hell and the world is mixing,
My knowledge can't copy itself-
That's when I see blood red messes.
I am not who you think I am
Because I am not even real.
I died yet they left my body,
So I'm moving your limbs.
- (m.m)
YOU ARE READING
Self Deception
PoetryPoetry 2017 And if I burn out in a fit of psychosis, remember me as a young god, with that smile made of daggers, even if I was the most dangerous thing you could've touched. Perhaps all that danger comes from the multiple personalities, but all I...
