It's what I haven't spoken in words that's haunting me the most, it seems. What I haven't said to you is an apparition, appearing throughout my day and causing me to fear mostly everything. Did I make a mistake? Or is this just a disappearing act?
I wonder if this is the downfall of us completely, if there ever was an us at all. In my head, there was certainly an us. There still is. You're my sidekick, and I'm yours. That's how everyone saw it, right? Or is that how I wanted them to see it?
You know, I miss your voice. I miss most things about you, I must admit. Although I held you as close as I could those last few days, I still feel as though I didn't hold you enough. Would it be too much to ask you to stop everything and run to me? I've been going out of my mind recently, just thinking myself into a whole new person. I don't feel the same as I felt before.
Because darling, I still love you, but it's not burning in my chest like it once was. The flame has settled to an ember, and the smoke from it smells of your skin and that shampoo you use. I wonder if you still think about those close moments with me, because I certainly do. No matter how far away you are, I still think your hair is beautiful.
I haven't lost you, no. You're just away; you're somewhere else for the moment. You'll come back to me soon, won't you? I'll see you again by the end of this year, won't I? Don't leave me with your apparition - I fear what trouble it'll cause for me down the road I'm on. Stick around, in the flesh, or take back all the things you said and did to me. I can't be left with this. I can't live like this.
When will your disappearing act end? I've been on the edge of my seat, waiting impatiently for your return into my sight. I can still hear you if I retrace my steps to last week, but that has proved to be quite difficult. You sound like an echo down an empty hallway; seemingly so close to me. I wish I was as close to you as I'd like to be.
And it's what I haven't said to you that's killing me the most. You're haunting me while I'm looking at your picture, and I'm listening to that song with tears in my eyes because it reminds me of you. I never thought we'd end up this way, but I guess I never should've thought we'd end up at all.
Dear sidekick, stop haunting me. Your apparition is making me dizzy with over-felt love, and I don't know if I'll ever snap out of it.
YOU ARE READING
Self Deception
PoetryPoetry 2017 And if I burn out in a fit of psychosis, remember me as a young god, with that smile made of daggers, even if I was the most dangerous thing you could've touched. Perhaps all that danger comes from the multiple personalities, but all I...
