6-5-17
Seven years and your pupils dilate
Can you feel me in your lane?
Seven years, in love with your face,
Seven years, you know my name,
Seven years and your pupils dilate-
If you don't want me, I know you can fake
You're dripping baby, I'm in your lane.
Used to fly kites,
And I found a way to build things-
Always had an imagination.
You liked me for it at 9.
Crazy ideas and a garage next door,
Oh what a boy could do with his thoughts.
Used to summon stars in your backyard,
Lie in the grass blades,
But my eyes cut daggers at whoever got your attention,
Wishing, aching, needing,
For it to be me.
You kissed my glasses when I had you hold them at 12,
I never saw that.
And we escaped the heat
By throwing water balloons on your trampoline that day.
My feet still burn from the pavement.
I learn she's the kind who can keep secrets,
I learn she's the kind to play in blood,
I learn she's sexy, as if I've never known the word.
My bedroom isn't what it was,
The Legos are gone,
But we have lean, vape smoke.
I learn of your drug dealer boyfriend,
And I learn to get the crew to tempt you,
I know you, girl, you never say no.
I've had one goal,
I've had one objective.
And I wanted to feel you,
Couldn't grow up to get it-
Couldn't do it any other way.
My dads popping pills,
My moms cheating the system,
And you're just too good to turn down,
But you're not offering, yet.
I'll have you there, though.
My eyes locked on your body,
Sliding down your shirt,
Laughing, trying to effortlessly get you to keep going,
But I see that you don't want me.
Doesn't want me.
Tell me what it means?
Seven years,
I've seen you slit your own neck on mistakes
I cared enough to stay for,
Seen the surround sound of demons
Scream through you,
And you're here to tell me
You have a stopping point.
You can't say no.
I'm obsessed with you,
I wanted nothing but you.
I set you up in traps to get you here,
The sky darkened
And I made a mess of you.
Fuck you mean you don't want me?
I'll show you
How to want,
How to need.
I'm not done with you.
Oh what a boy could do with his thoughts.
I take a bottle, this is how you live, right?
Mix purple drank, blow smoke-
This is what you're chasing, right?
I teach my boys how to throw themselves at you,
I teach myself how to be patient.
Seven years.
I watch you get higher than the kites,
I watch you smile at the flame,
I watch you look at me,
And I do it.
Take my aim,
And you drop dead on my mattress.
Fuck you mean you dont want me.
You can't say no when you're lifeless.
⁃ (m.m)
YOU ARE READING
Self Deception
شِعرPoetry 2017 And if I burn out in a fit of psychosis, remember me as a young god, with that smile made of daggers, even if I was the most dangerous thing you could've touched. Perhaps all that danger comes from the multiple personalities, but all I...
