2-28-18
And I'll admit, I just wanna fill a void,
Fill the loss and lesser days,
With something better here.
They ask of the sinking and the swimming-
I live in a place they drown in-
And I tell them there is nothing to be said,
But the bottom tiles
Have secrets to hold.
Push myself,
Fences of barbwire,
Slash slash slash,
I take it back,
To your excuses-
Too much acne and a heart made of lead,
They believed you,
Out of pity or genuine trust,
I wouldn't know.
I take it back,
I say,
Screaming at the skies,
I never meant for it end
Like there's chlorine in my eyes.
Touch the grasses,
Ends that fray
Like fabric.
I not saying I'd do it,
But if I threw the shells,
They'd be first to grab em.
I take it back I take it back i take it the fuck back,
Okay?
Not in my character, no,
But I've got things I need to know.
You're not the only one with eyes in this town,
Because I feel both sides-
I'm a magnet for the irises, colors going numb.
Shape shifters in the branches,
Tell me from which side you come.
It's going white, rising up,
Please don't leave me alone,
I'm in control, but I don't condone,
And she don't leave my fucking skin alone.
Blue,
What a color for your tones.
And I've been gone for long,
So we trade our stories via phone.
Directions, I need,
While the traffic light says no.
And I promised I'd have it better now,
While we melt away the snow.
You took my organs
Inside out, so the paranoia's for show-
Stomach shaking hands,
Tying fingers in knots so I know,
That nothing is for certain,
And you can stay safe for awhile,
But they'll catch you when it's time to go.
Go go go,
Not welcome here, bitch save it, I know.
Hit the bottom,
We're off the deep.
Missing my junkie boys,
Hair in his eyes,
And face that forgets sleep.
Take it back.
Take it back.
Take it back.
Up all night,
Magic in the streets,
Hear the snow hit the ground,
Like stars and glass at our feet.
I'm just trying to live,
Tell you this is civil but I meet,
The devil, iced him out,
Because I understand what they see.
Don't drive on the diamonds,
And the prisms set him free.
You've chosen it for yourself,
And I guess we all pay that fee.
Acceptance gives you love,
But your eyes melt with the heat,
Get out of your head,
And fucking take a day being me.
Diving boards take me down,
I wanna see the boy in red,
Been shamed and shunned,
And I think he knows my head.
A form of him lives,
And she fills me with dread-
Tell me if you keep running,
When do you plan to be dead?
I plan to be dead.
But the opportunities that gives you,
Pulls me back, like fuck not again,
Strength like a curse,
You don't know what I kept,
To myself through gritted teeth,
Through the water drains, it was swept.
And as of current, you're not worth it-
The last bits of energy not spent.
⁃ (m.m)
YOU ARE READING
Self Deception
PoetryPoetry 2017 And if I burn out in a fit of psychosis, remember me as a young god, with that smile made of daggers, even if I was the most dangerous thing you could've touched. Perhaps all that danger comes from the multiple personalities, but all I...
