Self Deception

83 / shards (all on you)

I was once bubbled over with affection, but now I'm an empty glass. Is evaporation to blame for this? Too much time has passed. If you dropped me on concrete, I would shatter into nothing except glass. No fulfillment, nothing inside - just glass. Only shards in the end.

What I once felt has evaporated, slowly and awfully: leaving dirt and grime behind on the sides of the glass. You made me filthy, you made me weak. I cried for you, so many times that I have lost count. Oh, I wish you could see me now. I wish you could watch me shiver and shake in my own skin. I'm as much of a mess as I've ever been.

Time flew by my eyes; it's all my fault. I made the choice to love you like I did. It was a conscious decision on my part. And the fool I was back in those previous months - I could have pushed all of it aside, never feeling any of it. I am filled with regret, because now, I must live with this. I'm in pain, you know.

You. Yes, you. You've killed me beyond an unimaginable point. I'll be lucky if I ever feel love again. This hurts, oh darling, it hurts. It hurts akin to shards of glass underneath skin; piercing and everlastingly sharp. This won't go away. I'm hurting.

I once felt something intense for you, and I suppose I still do. Now, it's all regret. It's pain. You never loved me, never for a minute. I don't know what the future holds for you, but I do know that mine is an empty glass.

I don't want to blame you for the evaporation, I really don't. Yet, after all the pain: it's all your fault. It's on you, darling.

revengeavenue

Okay so this is fucking late? Bro you should've texted me when I never published it 😂  I had meant to but maybe something interrupted me pasting it from your text message lmao but procrastination shit aside, I relate so fucking hard to this and I love the imagery, I think it fits perfectly with the aesthetic of Self Deception and its progression through these last months