2-28-17
Paranoid,
I'm shaking on the caffeine enhanced sleep deprivation.
You can blame it on substance
But this is just who I am,
The drugs take my guard down.
And you wonder why I drink alone...
No no no
Get out of my head,
Young suicidal pile of flesh and bones and dead dreams,
Please don't stay long enough to see this,
Because you hardly know
My skin is poison.
Messed up little girl..
Why is it so easy to hate what I see,
Makes me want to make the mirrors bloody,
Take my scar tissue from me-
I walk as a trigger.
Loaded pistols,
Bedside tables with glasses full of whiskey.
Don't piss it away
I have no fucking choice,
And I'm sorry
That I dream of crashing,
Rolling down a mountain,
Trash a white ford
And hope my bones
Melt into the paint.
I've become what you never wanted,
Because I've been pushed.
Please stop weighing in..
You don't know what you do.
Every corner is a new voice,
I keep spinning
And God, I'm hoping I can cling
To your hands
And your intentions
Because it's a reason to live.
Do you hear the thousands of voices in my head
When I speak?
I'm too afraid to trust,
I can hardly breathe,
But goddamn,
A saint rises from my skin
Like a ghost in the sheets,
When you look at me.
Shut my eyes tight-
The noise is too much tonight..
Heartbeat skipping and swinging,
Seeing just what it takes
To hop off the ledge,
Into my collarbones.
I'll show you the ropes,
Don't worry,
It's only scary
If you focus on everything but this.
Stop speaking,
I give you a voice
And it kills me
But I must listen.
Stop tearing my body to shreds,
Give me a fucking break.
I can't escape-
You're putting nails to the side of my head,
The migraines are so much worse now.
If you want out,
Just tell me,
secrecy is a game suited for very few.
Stop hiding inside of me,
I do it every fucking day
And there's hardly any space as is.
How do I say it kindly enough?
You're the only one who's seen how low this gets
And for that,
Get the fuck out.
- (m.m)
Sooo personal omg
YOU ARE READING
Self Deception
PoetryPoetry 2017 And if I burn out in a fit of psychosis, remember me as a young god, with that smile made of daggers, even if I was the most dangerous thing you could've touched. Perhaps all that danger comes from the multiple personalities, but all I...
