Self Deception

8 / Mason Jar

2-6-17
I cannot set you free
So I leave you to lay
In the acid and chlorine bleach,
Because you're mine,
And the only way possession is true
Is when you're dead.

They don't like my freakshow-
I pass the jar around
But I'm quick to note
They don't want this.
Pushing relentlessly,
I ask around.
Looks of disgust
Are all I receive
But I'm so full of pride.
Look at what I've done!
It's fine,
No, really,
I'm fine.
See look,
The layers of skin have grown back
Around the bones in my wrist.
It's normal,
Just listen.

Watch me now
Watch me now
I chop my limbs for fun,
But I'm so immortal,
Life is fucking pointless,
Yet you see the truth and you run.
I'm laughing so sick,
And you're racing on the walls,
I've lost another wrist
But nothing's changed at all.

Their horrified eyes want nothing to do with me,
And the whole room smells of
Psychopathy and blood.
It's really becoming a problem.

Since I'm left with transparent glass
And my darkest desires,
I can't help but think somebody must want this.
With a world so vast and limitless
To those who aren't afraid,
How can one ever be alone in their thoughts?
I tried to keep the pain,
And sell it away
But nobody wanted it,
And nobody has fucked up like I have.

Watch me now
Watch me now
I chop my limbs for fun,
But I'm so immortal,
Life is fucking pointless,
Yet you see the truth and you run.
I'm laughing so sick,
And you're racing on the walls,
I've lost another wrist
But nothing's changed at all.

You saw the tremor
You heard the voice,
You knew I was in the wrong,
But I hid and you ignored,
But the shit's still going on.
And my god this feeling is impending,
But I feel so goddamn strong,
How many people could cut and slice
And still stand up this long?
⁃ (m.m)

Inspired by a dream I had in which I jarred my wrist after chopping it off (I must've felt my wrist in my sleep bc it notably grew back normal afterwards) and tried to give it away but everyone was horrified and I couldn't see what was wrong.