Self Deception

29 / The Ends Don't Meet

4-4-17

I don't do well with ends not meeting
And I touch your skin but I turn to flames.
Seconds keep their spinning, and the clock's just bleeding
The ends never touch but I'm keeping up the act,
Do everything just to cover your ass,
Anxiety's got your secrets,
And their safest when they last.
Burn myself and I'm feeling kind of high,
Watch yourself with the suspects we hide.
I'm living in a dream, waking up in the clouds,
Throw on a facade, you believe it.
I'm shaking on mistakes,
Bottle pills while we're feeling
Demons got me captive,
Rolling through my skull.
Can I escape what I've done
With a bullet and a note,
Or will you point fingers
While the blood makes me choke?
On the edge of skylights,
Hanging my feet,
The worlds full of worry,
And my lies chip my teeth.
Too close to the light,
To accept all this truth,
I swallow slowly and turn my gaze to you.
Tell me you won't leave me,
When you get whats expected,
My breathing's real low,
And I'd love to know you.
Promise on a star
But we'll all burn out,
I'm in the wrong place,
And my hands spell doubt.
I've seen the wrong roads,
And it all spills out,
You're not ready for the loss,
Even though you're independent.
I'll fuck you up,
With the ghosts that love me,
And they try to keep company,
In my bed above me.
And I can't quite explain what I see in the mirror,
If it's what they see, too, or if it's not even here.
Time is getting blurry and the drugs kick in,
Everything I know, down the drain.
Wish the walls would get closer, even though I'm claustrophobic,
Good and bad has no difference, and the ceilings talking back,
If I hang it off my neck and the rope ties it over,
Will my honesty collapse from the holes behind the posters?
Cigarettes and coasters,
Cans of beer,
Grew up by a field,
Grew up on some fear.
Tell me that you see it, tell me it connects
I told you once,
I don't do good with the ends.
⁃ (m.m)

Paranoia