Self Deception

26 / I See Myself In Your Blades

3-31-17
I see myself when I look at you,
And I put it romantically,
Because words don't do the damage quick,
They've got a destruction that takes patience,
Willpower, strength, and a lack of empathy.
They move with finesse.
I've been watching.

Stick your neck out,
Let's see all the veins that haven't turned black yet,
From the enhancer of choice.
You frame your words,
Showcase them so they fill the room,
And you lace the syllables with venom-
Just in case.
Anxiety rushes through me,
The tone of it feeling like ash,
But I've told you I'm putting these down,
And I've told you it's getting better.
Sicken me,
I'll throw your head into this fucking fireplace,
And let the black soak up the carpet,
Crack your skull
So you don't lay your hands on what holds my future,
And you won't even beg for your life-
It's worth nothing.
I'll watch you melt and pour from the backs of your knees,
Your bones will break like sticks,
Your hair will fall like leaves
And you're so full of dirt and grime
And evil spirit,
You'll sink straight through the foundation.
I'll burn you,
Motherfucker,
I'll burn you for doing the things you do.

Crack your knuckles,
Brace yourself,
And stand straight.
You hold secrets,
But you're foolish in spitting vague knowledge,
Because I've got yours locked up tight,
And I know things about you,
Things only Satan wants to hear,
But I don't sell it off.
I don't sell anything off.

You're the handle on this knife,
But now that I think about it,
That's all anyone ever is.
Words slope the blade,
And truth makes it shine.
I see myself when I look at you.
Line up and shoot down,
Bring heaven to a breakeven,
Empty all that accompanies life.

I slash at your hair
Like I'm in a field of wild flowers,
And the colors drip down your face,
Pooling into your eyes,
So black and hollow,
I mean to miss them more often than I actually do.
And I see myself when I look at you.

I'm shaking,
On too much and too little all at once,
And nobody could take the weight away.
That's what they don't understand-
Something so heavy is stubborn,
And not a soul's touch could lift it.
I bleed black and blue,
And I slit just for you,
But it's not enough
To make us into two,
Because since day one,
I've been a part of you.
I'm into all that you do,
And I try to look away,
But I lit the fuse,
And we're running wild,
What a wasted youth,
Death is the pursuit,
And it's screaming the truth.

YOU'RE ALL JUST FUCKING WORTHLESS
I CANNOT SAY ANOTHER WORD
IM BOUND TO YOU IN ROPES
SO YOU BREATHE THIS KIND OF HURT
BUT WHAT IS IT REALLY WORTH
WHEN LOVE IS ONLY FORCED
UPON THE ACTIONS YOU DESERVE
AND WHAT IS LOVE REALLY WORTH
WHEN YOU'RE FACE DOWN IN THE DIRT
THERE'S BLOOD ON YOUR SHIRT
I STAINED EVERY MIRROR
IF I DIDNT DO YOU LIKE THIS
YOU'D FORGET I WAS HERE
BUT SINCE WHEN DO I FADE
YOU'RE A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT
I WANT TO MAKE YOU DECAY
I WANT TO MAKE YOU DECAY
I WANT TO MAKE YOU DECAY
I SEE MYSELF WHEN I LOOK AT YOU
AND ITS EVERYTHING I HATE.
⁃ (m.m)

This really turned into something.. Kinda just wow. Idk. It sounds murderous although I am not, but I really grasped and extremely exaggerated what was dark within this. Like fuck.