▋BRING ME BACK

☤ three | jae

just because i didn't take those stupid pills they threw me down here again. i can hardly breathe or move. my eyes hurt and my body feels numb. they give me that sleeping medicine so often that my body gets all tired more often.

"brian..."

i moan his name. when i see him i'll pull his guts out and kick him in the face. but then i'll want to put him back together and kiss his face.

i hate myself right now.

curse you brian.

i shut my eyes quickly as i can hear someone opening my drawer, ready to pull me out. one of the doctors pulled me out and laid me on the hospital bed in a white room as they watched me in another room.

"shoot."

here we go again.

the gun above me shot at my stomach as i choke. my blood splattered all over the room as my body starts to shake. the doctors and nurses stare at me, smiling. they don't care. they never care. i wanted to rip their lips off and stab them in the stomach. i wanted to put them in the drawers while covering their mouths and making sure they can't breathe. i wanted to break their teeth and burn their limbs. i wanted them to die.

one of the nurses entered as they pull my hospital bed out the room into one of the other testing rooms where there was a mirror, tables and a few chairs.

"stick your hands out."

i somehow managed to place my hands on the table. i don't even know how i am alive at the moment. blood was gushing out of me and everything was a blur yet i still managed to put my hands on the table. my whole body except my arms felt weak.

"curl in your fingers."

my fingers feel numb as i pull them in. it makes my head hurt. my heart is pumping so fast it's scaring me. it really feels like it's going to burst.

"use your mind. just think of anything."

the only thing i could think of was brian. but i quickly changed my mind to something else so i thought of the nurse whacking the tray with the pills on them. the doctor placed an apple in front of me.

"think of fire and look at the apple."

i did as the doctor told me, my hands shaking. all of a sudden they stood stiff and the apple was now in ashes. it was gone before my eyes. not even in a blink.

"look at this and think of ice or snow. something cold."

i stared at the orange and used my mind. even though i was scared at my own actions, i couldn't help but find this interesting myself. thinking of ice, i looked at the orange and nothing happened to it.

"close your eyes when you think and then when you're ready for it to happen just open your eyes."

pushing my glasses back, i did as the doctor told me. closing my eyes i thought of cold things again and when i shot my eyes open, the orange was in small icy flakes like snow.

"think of ice", the doctor said as he placed another orange in front of me.

doing as told, i opened my eyes to see the orange frozen in a block of ice. i was so shocked at what i was capable of that i didn't notice something.

there was cuts forming on my arm.

"why is there cuts on my arm?", i asked.

"when you use your power you lose energy. the more you use your power the more cuts you have. it's just how it works."

"oh."

my arms started to ache even more when i used my powers more. my mind went blank. if only i knew this before i could've used it on brian.

what's wrong with me?

"jae, you may go back to your room."

one of the nurses held my arm, leading me up the stairs. i wanted to stay down there and know more. i don't want to be locked up in a room and do nothing. i wanted to tell them that i wanted to go back but i didn't feel like arguing and going back into those cramped drawers. my leg muscles were already aching and going up these staircases weren't making it any better.

"can't you hurry up?", the nurse scoffed at me.

"can't you be patient?", i snapped.

the nurse gave me a look and slapped my face. i rolled my eyes and let her drag me up. i held back my cries of pain and was relieved when i got to my room. the nurse finally left, slamming the door loudly. i was finally alone.

i wanted to be alone forever.

but when i am, why do i always seek for care and attention?