Winning the world and you

Imbeciles

~JORDAN'S P.O.V~
This is what? The eighth time we've tried to kiss. Geez, that's even awkward for me to think about. So far, whatever it is someone or something has stopped it. And Damien's freaking out way more than usual. "Damien, you have to calm down" I tell him, putting my hand on his shoulder.

My friend who was slouched, looking angry and dead inside had a random spaz, flailing for a second. Yes I said friend! We're friends. I think? "Jordan I can't calm down. I feel like I'm having four strokes and heart attacks. At once. Shit's pissing me off!"

"Profanity"

Damien's pupils shook in frustration before pointing at me accusingly "Pro-fuck off, you're going to be dead by the end of this. Don't tell me my limits!" He has a random shake before going to hug me tightly and cry. Grossly. "Woodpecker I'm sorry!" He went cross eyed "Please don't die!".

You gotta love when Damien has a break down and says the dumbest stuff. Like 'Oh, Jordan I love you'. It's hilarious. Now, you may think that he's not breaking down and he's being honest. But really? He's insane! Not like Red Leader insane but more like 'Hi, I'm a master of double manipulation and my motives are questionable'. Which Damien has said.

I giggle at his distress and pat him on the head "Dame, it's alright. We're all gonna die at some point" Yeah.. That's probably not going to help him. Damien was silent for a moment before crying again. Crud, what the heck do I say to help him "Ok, I promise not to die?"

Damien got off me "Liar! Everyone dies!" He started inaudibly screaming and panicking. Instead of letting him freak out I grab him and shake him and drag out "Calm down!" In a shaky voice. His eye was still twitching but he calmed down. He was instead doing some inaudible mumbling other than screaming.

"Out of curiosity, when was the last time you took your medication?" I ask, Damien slowly hugged me to probably calm down. "Medication is bullshit. It's like 'hey, instead of dealing with your issues you can take drugs and put off a rational way to cure depression". Also, nothing like Damien getting deep when he's in a break down.

In a sigh, I pat his head again "You gotta calm down" My distressed friend starts purring while on my chest. "I am the calm" They say, purposely using bad grammar "Like an introvert home alone". A giggle, petting him still. After a while it gets awkwardly silent.

This comforting hug is going to long "Uhh, Dame? Are you going to get off me?" He makes a sound of thinking for a moment "Well, considering how I've already taped myself to you. I quite literally live on you now". I glance down to see that we are taped together from the waist.

God damnit not this again. "Damien! Get us out of this!" I tried to struggle out of this sticky mess Damien dragged me into. Crap that sounds so wrong. "I might. On one condition!" He tried to point up as an add on but his arms were taped to his sides.

"Let me guess, I have to try and kiss you again?" I put an emphasis on 'try'.

Damien smiled like a cat "well I was gonna say you could binge watch Sherlock with me but that works too". Great, now I seem like the pervert here. I could've watched Sherlock with my best friend while chilling on his bed. It's a comfy bed don't judge! "But I wanna watch Sherlock!"

"I wanted a flame thrower so I could burn down the whole land of Russia but that doesn't get to happen" He poked my nose with his and smiled.

I wait for a 'just kidding' which of course I'm not going to get. "What are your-"

"Damien" He replied simply.

Oh yeah.

"Now kiss me you awkward bird" He said, closing his eyes and making a stupid kissy face. After a sigh I make a similar-ish face and go to kiss the crazy.