Split

All Too Easy

It had been a few days since the first time I'd ventured out of my room and Dennis was supervising me. Patricia wasn't happy about it but Dennis had insisted on trying to do more of the work again, wanting to prove that he was capable of helping somehow. I didn't mind, he was keeping me company in the kitchen and I was having a half decent conversation with him.
He was telling me all about the other personalities and about how Doctor Fletcher was trying to help the world understand D.I.D. better. He said that she was a nice woman and one of the few who he'd met that had spoken to him kindly.
"She's smart, you know? She knew I wasn't Barry from the off, she knows us all so well... the world needs more people like her. Maybe when this is all over we can introduce you to her. You'd like her a lot."

"She sounds like a great woman. Do you see her a lot?"

"I've only just met her, but the others are always talking about her. They think she's the key to showing the world what we are, but that's not the case now. We have-" he caught himself before he spoke of the beast, knowing that I didn't like it, and cleared his throat, "our plans have changed."

"Don't you think she could help?"

"Not anymore. She's struggling to get people to listen... she doesn't give up but she's just not getting anywhere."

"That's a shame."

"Yeah..." the conversation came to a dead end and we both sat in silence. He glanced up at me uncomfortably, studying my face, "I... I'm sorry this is the way it has to be. I know what you're thinking... but we have to ensure our survival."
I shrugged, not wanting to talk about it and he looked at the floor, "I know what you must think of me, but please believe me when I say that I wish there was another way to do this... I know it upsets you and I know you don't want those girls to die."
I almost welled up at the mention of my classmates and Dennis immediately tried to apologise, stumbling over his words while he attempted to think of something to say.
"Oh, don't listen to me, I shouldn't have said anything... I'm sorry."

I blinked the tears away, "it's okay," and tried to ignore the anger that was building inside me. I wanted to know more, he had let me know that the girls were still alive, but I needed to know how long they had left...
"When do you plan to... you know..."

"Two days..." he looked uneasy, "they have two days."

"Is there no way I can convince you to let them go?" I asked hopelessly and he looked sternly at me.

"No."
I nodded, defeated, and Dennis sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, but it's out of my hands now."

"Can I see them?"

"No. Patricia has been very specific of what she expects of me and I'm not allowed to let you do anything like that. I'm here to watch you, and that's all."

"I can't even say goodbye to them?"

He looked irritated, "listen, unless you want to be locked in your room again then I suggest you stop pushing your luck."
I pressed my lips together and looked at the floor and he cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you... I'm just not allowed to let you do that."

"I think I'm going to go back to my room," I got up from the table.

"Wait, come on, I didn't mean it. Please, just sit back down."
I did as I was told but didn't speak.
"Look, the more I let you do, the more we're both gonna get into trouble... I can't let that happen because Patricia will have an excuse to do what she wants to do with you. I don't want that and neither do you... okay?"

"Why does it matter to you? You were going to kill me anyway. You've had this sudden change of heart now you know that I'm not part of your plan, but if I hadn't told you about me then I'd be dead soon like the other two."

"Don't say that, I don't want you hurt... I like you."

"You've said that, but you still treat me like a prisoner... the only one that doesn't is Hedwig, and that's only because he doesn't understand."

"If I don't treat you like this then you'll get away, and we just can't have that... I don't want it to be this way, I want you to be happy."

"You think I'm happy about all this?"

"No, and I don't blame you... but this is the best we can offer. I can't give you anything else... if I start letting you get away with things then..."

"What?"

He sighed, "it's all too easy for me to let you do what you want... I want to make you happy... and that's not a good thing, I could easily say yes to letting you see your friends, to letting you into other parts of the building, letting you do anything you please... but I'm not allowed. If I start that, then I'm worried that I'll start letting you do things that could get us all caught."

"What do you mean it's all too easy?"

"I just..." he ran a hand over his head, "I like you... a lot... and I don't want to let myself slip up because of that."

I blinked, "you're saying you... like me?"

He quickly shook his head, his eyes full of concern, "don't take that the wrong way, I'm not gonna do anything about it, I don't want you thinking that... after everything that's happened and how I've acted before, that I'm gonna try anything with you... because I'm not. I don't want to, I... I value our friendship. I don't want you to be scared of me."

"I'm not scared of you..." I trailed off, not knowing how to respond.

"It's okay, I don't need you to say anything... just, please, don't think of me differently... and don't say anything to Patricia. I like speaking to you... and if you tell her what I've told you, then she won't let me see you anymore. I don't want that..."

"I think I want to go back to my room" I said quietly, feeling uneasy.

He looked alarmed, "oh, no I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just-"

"It's fine, but I need some time."

His eyes dulled and he nodded reluctantly, "okay. I'll see you soon?"

I nodded once before retreating to my room to try and think things over... what was happening?!