Split

Wrong

I was completely thrown off by how relaxed I was with Dennis, and how comfortable I felt with him. I never thought I'd want to have any kind of sexual relations with anyone after what my uncle had done, but being here with him now, I couldn't remember why I ever thought it was a bad idea.
Dennis was gripping me tight, I'd imagine that he was as lost in the moment as I was, and I buried my face in his neck. Maybe this was wrong, there didn't seem to be any good reasons to be doing this except that I wanted to... but I couldn't think straight right now, I dug my nails into his back which encouraged a soft moan from his lips.
I didn't want to stop, even if it was wrong... I wasn't exactly a good role model as it was, and I was stuck here anyway... the position I was in, and after what had happened while I sat by and did nothing, I wasn't showing a good moral standard anyway.

I felt myself begin to fall into release and I held him even tighter, unable to cope with how overwhelming it was, and began panting wildly. Apparently this was too much for him too, and he was soon doing the same as me, both of us quickly becoming trembling messes.
When we'd finished he pulled away a little, his face just inches from mine, and gazed into my eyes. We were both breathing heavily and I was feeling weak, wanting only to curl up with him and sleep. His lips touched mine, almost not connecting, and he looked at me again, "I don't even have the words..."

I grinned, "I know what you mean..." he rolled onto his back next to me, careful not to fall off of the small bed, and I turned to lean my head on his chest.
"Do you think we could just stay like this forever?"

"I wish we could, life would be much simpler."

"What do you think the others will say?"

"They don't have to know," he seemed to grow quiet like he had been before and I tilted my head to look up at him.

"What's wrong?"

"I have a confession... you know our doctor that I was talking about before?"
I nodded and he let out an uneven breath, "she was here on that night."

"She was?"

"Yeah."

"What did she do?"

"She found the blonde girl-"

"Claire-"

"Yeah, she found her and... I didn't have a choice..."

"You killed her?" I sat up to lean on my elbow, already feeling anxious.

He went to shake his head but stopped, "I guess I might as well have... I drugged her and put her on the couch... and when I came back the beast had been and... she... she's dead."

I'd have been angry if he didn't look so guilty, "you shouldn't have done that, but you know that... why did you do it?"

"I wasn't thinking, I didn't know what to do, she would tell everyone... I didn't know what else to do, I shut her in but it was too late by the time I got back. I didn't mean for it to happen, I liked her... she was nice."

"I'm not going to tell you that it wasn't your fault, you know you made a mistake, but you didn't kill her... at least give yourself that much."

He shrugged, "I can't forgive myself... for any of this... but I want to move on from it. I'm going to tell Patricia that I'm not helping her anymore. I don't want anything else on my conscience."

"That's good... but what if she reacts badly?"

"I guess I'll just have to take that chance."

I rested my head on his chest again and sighed, hoping that Patricia wouldn't be too hard on him.