Split

Missing Them

I didn't have the heart to leave Kevin alone that night so I called Susan to let her know that I was spending the night on his sofa.
She was understanding, and it was Saturday tomorrow so I wouldn't have to be up for college.
"You don't have to stay, you know," he said flatly, staring into space.

"I want to stay. I want to make sure you're okay."

He didn't protest anymore than that, so I assumed that he wanted the company really, "are you hungry?"
He shook his head.
"When did you last eat?"

"I don't know," he shrugged and I sighed. He was definitely hard work, I realised now why he was never in the light; he didn't seem to do anything on his own. It was hard to believe that he was the owner of the body that they all lived in, and I got up from the sofa.
"Where are you going?" He looked worried-an expression that he almost always wore.

"I'm making you dinner. You need to eat."

"What's the point?"

I pretended I hadn't heard him and went to prepare the miserable man something to eat.
He thanked me when I returned with two sandwiches, and began to eat them painfully slowly. I knew that he was upset, so was I, but he was beginning to get on my nerves. I didn't mind the tears, or the lack of communication, or even that he didn't show that he appreciated anything I did; what annoyed me was the complete inability to even try. He made no effort to do anything and I knew that I couldn't look after him forever.
The thought made me think of Dennis and I felt the prickle of tears behind my eyes. I blinked them away quickly and smiled towards him, "so what do you want to do?"

"To be honest I just want to go to bed," He chewed the sandwich carefully, "Sorry."

"That's fine, I don't mind... I think I need an early night too..." He left half of what I'd made for him on the plate and went to his room, practically walking like a zombie. I didn't mind that he'd left the sandwich because I was starving, so I finished what was on the plate.

I took a blanket that was draped over the back of the sofa and set up a makeshift bed, putting the blanket and a few pillows on the soft cushions.
I went to check on him before I went to bed and stood in the doorway. He was laying on his side, facing me, troubled eyes gazing at the wall opposite. It didn't look like he'd even noticed that I was there. I felt sorry for him but I could tell when someone wanted to be left alone, so I turned to leave.
"Casey?" He called after me.

I spun around to look back into the room, "yeah?" I stepped in and leaned against the wall.

"Why do you care? I know you want the others back, but you could wait for them back at your house. You aren't going to be able to bring them back whether you're here or not."

"I'm keeping my eye on you," I tried to smile, "you're just as important as them."

"I don't think-"

"Kevin, I know that you're not in the right frame of mind to exactly be acting enthusiastic right now, but you have to think positively... and if you aren't going to do that, then you need to realise that you might not have a choice about living your own life. If they don't come back, then you're going to have to look after yourself whether you like it or not. I can't be around all the time to help."

"I wouldn't expect you to."

"I want to, don't get me wrong, but you need to take charge of your own life. We'll go out and do something tomorrow, okay? It'll be fun."
He didn't reply and I sighed before leaving once more, "goodnight."

I went and curled up on the sofa, hugging a pillow close to my chest. I tried not to think about how much I missed them all but it was bubbling up. The more I thought about Kevin and how depressed he was, the more I worried about how I was going to look after him. It didn't seem like he even liked me...
I hid my face in the blanket and fell into a restless sleep, dreaming of Dennis and my friends and begging them to come back to me.