Split

Try Something

It had been three days since Barry had quit his job and he'd been struggling to find work. Nowhere seemed to want to take people with a record of such an advanced mental health disorder and we were running out of places to look.

He had taken a nap after I got home from college and I sat down and picked up a magazine from the table. It was Barry's so it was full of fashion, a lot of it too modern for me to really understand the attraction, but I'm sure he was interested.
That's when I had the idea.
I crept over to the corner where he kept his sewing machine and picked up his folder of design ideas. I lay them out on the table, taking pictures of each of them, and then put it back exactly where I'd found it.
Barry hated anyone seeing his work and I knew he'd never agree to sending them off to be viewed, but I could do it without him knowing and just see what they say.
I went to the computer and printed the photos then walked down to the post office, buying an envelope and writing the address that I'd taken from an add in the magazine.
I passed it to the woman behind the desk and had it sent off.
Now I just had to wait for a response and hope that Barry wouldn't be too upset with me if he found out.
I walked home slowly, enjoying the cool breeze that swept the town, and made dinner when I found Barry still asleep.

After almost an hour, Kevin wandered in sleepily and sat down on the sofa. I glanced over, "sleep okay?"

"Yeah, thanks."

My stomach sunk at the short response, "good."
I wanted one of the others back, at least I could have a conversation with Jade or Barry without really having to try. Without realising it, my thoughts turned to Dennis; how long had it been since I'd seen him? I'd lost track of the days... I missed him so much, even thinking about him made me want to curl up and cry... how was I going to get him back?
I put the food I had been preparing in the oven.
Was Barry right? Was Dennis just here for what everyone thought he was? I didn't believe it but... shouldn't I be trying everything?
I thought about it for a moment before feeling extremely guilty. Could I do that to Dennis? I would be doing it for him but... it's still cheating... isn't it? They have the same body...
My head spun. What are the rules of dating someone with DID?!
I couldn't do that to Kevin either. Wasn't it wrong to use him just to get Dennis back?
I sat down at the table with my chin rested on my hand.
I didn't know what to do...

When the food was done, I put it onto plates and put them on the table.

I walked into the living room and stood in front of him, "dinners ready."

"Oh, okay," he smiled, "thank you." The way he smiled reminded me of Dennis a little, he was Kevin's first identity after all so they were fairly similar, and I felt a pang of sadness. I wanted him back more than anything. I had to do something or I'd never see him again.

I sat down next to him, "Kevin, I... I want to try something... and I don't know if it will work but I need to try anyway," I leant forward and kissed him before I had time to back out of it and I felt him freeze. I didn't want to put emotion into it so I kept my hands on the sofa either side of him.
After a second he relaxed and actually leaned in, letting our lips connect even more.
It was easy to forget that I wasn't kissing Dennis seeing as he had the same body-the feel of his lips was reassuring and safe-but my mind kept reminding me that it wasn't Dennis, and it eventually got too much. I pulled away quickly, avoiding eye contact and swallowing hard, "I'm sorry," I looked up to see if he was angry with me.

Kevin was looking at me in awe to start with but after a few seconds he cleared his throat, "Uh, don't be... I... what was that for?"

"Barry said something that made me think that maybe I could bring Dennis back if... you know, never mind. I don't want to talk about it."